Be Brave

Breakdown 11-20-25

Before Apocalypse, something Amy’s son Loki said to her rang clear in her head regarding James Evans – “give him all that you have left.” This had come when she found Loki watching a VWA match from a decade ago, where Amy had gone to the deepest, darkest place she’d ever gone to in a match, to the point that she doesn’t remember her actions, she only knows what she’s seen on film. For most of those ten years since, Amy had been afraid of her kids seeing her in that match. Jaina was older and understood more of what led Amy to that point and what she did to Dustin, but Loki was different. Dustin was his father. And Amy had been terrified of what her son would think if he saw it. When, really, Amy always knew he’d see it one day. She thought he’d be angry at her, despite the way he’d grown to resent Dustin for ignoring him; or maybe he’d be afraid of what he saw, afraid of her. The one reaction she never contemplated was what she got – admiration. In fact, Loki seemed to want to emulate it. He encouraged her to give that version of her to James, because he deserved it almost as much as Dustin had. In any other situation this would have only added to Amy’s fear for her son and what he was seeming to want to become.

But this is James Evans we’re talking about here. And Loki was right.

That night in Toronto – a city Amy was very familiar with thanks to her VWA stints – she went to the ring with every intention of leaving it all out there, just as Loki said, give James everything she had left, embrace the darkness, as she would have once said what feels like a lifetime or two ago, and walk out of a ring in front of a live crowd for the last time.

But you know what they say about the best laid plans. Amy ran out hot and threw everything she had at James, along with poor Hollinsworth, who got in the way of Amy’s rage and earned himself a hard right in response to his disqualifying her. Hours later, after the show and in her hotel room, when she had calmed down and pulled herself back up from that dark place, Amy decided that despite her intentions of this being her last match, she couldn’t let it end this way. There was nothing decisive about it. Not the last time she fought James and made him submit. If she quit now James would never ever shut up about it for the rest of his life.

No. It’s not ending like this.

* * * * * * * * * *

{{ Wednesday, November 13
Boise, ID
After Breakdown ))

In a locker room backstage, Amy is silently getting her things together to leave the arena. She isn’t alone though. Wyatt and Loki give each other a look, then Loki nods his head towards his mom. Wyatt nods once, affirmative.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Amy looks up at her husband, nearly expressionless. “You’re gonna have to be more specific.”
“Next week.”
Amy zips her bag with more force than needed. “What? Have a street fight in New Orleans? Destroy James? Retire? What exactly are you asking me, Wyatt?”
“All of it, Mom.”
Amy looks back and forth between the two most important males in her life. Sitting on the bench, she exhales hard.
“You know, there are two very different conversations I should have with each of you, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to have them at the same time.”
“That’s not an answer, sweetheart.”
“Yes.” Wyatt looks at her blankly, waiting for more. “I’m sure. This was supposed to be over at Apocalypse, but I….” Amy shakes her head, not sure how to word what happened.
“Got lost in the dark?”
Amy grins at her son. He understands so much more than she ever gave him credit for.
“Yeah. Exactly. And I told you, both of you, that I couldn’t just walk away after that.”
“No, I know that. But you hadn’t told everyone about your intention to retire then. You just told the world. You can’t take that back, I know you’d never allow yourself to do so.”
“Yes, I know. That’s exactly why I said it. Years ago when Bree hurt my knee…. I didn’t have a choice but to quit. This is me doing it on my terms.”
“Do your terms include getting lost in the dark again?”
“I won’t be lost this time. I know what I’m walking into.”
“And what is that, exactly?”
Amy looks back and forth between her husband and son again, and sighs.
“See, this is why I should be talking to you separately. Can we do this la—”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“…. Damn.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I know you’re hesitating to answer. Because of me. You don’t want to be what you’re trying to stop me from being.”
“It’s not just that, Lo.” Amy glances at Wyatt. “There’s a lot of things that happened before you were born and when you were little that… were very difficult for us to get through.”
“You think I don’t know about any of that? You’ve told some stories dozens of times on camera, me and Jaina talked about so much more than you could imagine.”
Amy nods. “No, I know you have. I know there isn’t much that you haven’t heard. But knowing about something and living through it are very different things. Some of the worst parts, you were too young to remember and just knowing the stories isn’t enough to really understand how… how…”
“Fucked up?” Wyatt offers. Loki isn’t a kid anymore, Amy reminds herself. That was the only phrase that worked.
“Yes. How fucked up some of it really was. Look, I know what I need to do, and the level I have to go to do it. I’m willing, but if you—” She points to Loki. “—want me to go to that place you saw in that ten year old match, I need to be sure that you—” she now points to Wyatt. “—are okay with seeing that.”
“Amy—” “Mom—”
Loki tilts his head in deference to Wyatt. “I can handle you doing what you need to do. This isn’t like back then. You’re not brainwashed, you’re going into this with a clear head and your own intentions. I agree with Loki, Evans deserves every bit of what you can pull out of the darkness and throw at him.”
“But I have to go there to get it. Do you know how deep—”
“I know. But I also know that dark doesn’t always mean evil. It’s just sometimes the only option you have left for the greater good.”
Amy still isn’t convinced Wyatt knows what he’s approving. “But Seventh Circle deep?”
“If that’s what it takes. What do you have to lose?”
Amy instinctively looks at Loki. “What, me?”
“Yeah, you. I don’t want you to think that me doing this, what we all know James deserves, is my blessing or permission for you to… to be…” Amy stops, shaking her lowered head. She can’t make herself say it.
“What, act like Dustin?” Amy just nods. “Mom. Look at me. We all know there’s a part of me that came from him, something in my blood, instinctive, that just isn’t going to go away no matter how much we want it to. Yeah, he’s my father, he helped make me but he didn’t raise me. You guys did. You have to trust that you did well enough for me to know how to control it.”
“He’s just… he was, so much worse than I could ever force myself to be. You have that in you and I just… since the day you were born, I wanted you to be better. So did he, he said so, to you, when you were barely an hour old.”
Loki leans over and grabs Amy’s hand. “Mom, I know what you’re afraid of. I was afraid of it too for a long time, but we don’t need to be. I am better than him. Because I want to control it, and he didn’t. You told me that yourself a few years ago. I didn’t get it then but I do now. I can – no, we – can embrace the darkest parts of ourselves without getting lost to it. I know you can, because you’ve done it before. A few times. That shows me that I can, too. You just have to trust me. Do you trust me?”
Amy glances at Wyatt, who’s trying to suppress a grin. There’s no way Loki could know what that question meant between his mom and dad. She smiles.
“Yes Loki, I trust you.”
Loki pats Amy’s hand and lets go. “Good. Now get me out of your head and focus on what you gotta do. Destroy James.”
“Destroy James. Or destroy myself trying.”
“Let hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“But if it does…. It’ll be worth it.”

On the way back to the hotel, Amy is relieved that the dual conversation wasn’t nearly as hard as she thought it would be. It’s going to be a struggle to walk the razor-thin line between doing everything in her power to take James down and going so far that it inspires Loki to lean too much into the darkness. Knowing that it’s going to be the last struggle of her in-ring career makes it worth it.

November 19
New Orleans
-----------------

For those Dear Readers who don’t know, yesterday was my daughter’s birthday. When she came into this world 24 years ago, I had never even thought of wrestling. It was the farthest thing from my mind as a possible career choice, since I had lived with enough violence at home. She wasn’t even 2 yet when I got out of that situation and moved across the country on a whim – for a change of scenery and an offer to train.

So much has happened since then, more than most people experience in that time. At least that’s how it feels. Career success, relationships came and went, I had my son, I changed companies a handful of times. Got injured, more than once. Thought one had benched me for good, yet here I am. I had a chance to make a comeback and try to do more. Recapture a championship or two that I previously held and was proud of. That’s the one thing I failed at, yet I’m not mad about it. Some things just aren’t meant to be. I was destined to be the wrestler who’s never been a two-time champion. I can live with that.

What I can’t live with… is feeling like I left a job undone.

Almost no one knows this, but Apocalypse was supposed to be my last match. I hadn’t told this to SCW or made anything official. I just decided that afterwards, no matter what happened, I was just done. But as in many cases in this business, things didn’t exactly go according to plan. I went out there fully intending to leave everything in that ring, including my boots… and instead I let my emotions get the better of me and got myself DQ’ed. Hollingsworth didn’t deserve the cheap shot afterwards and I’ll apologize again for that. Afterwards though… I decided I couldn’t just walk away like that. I didn’t beat James, he didn’t beat me… but more importantly, he didn’t learn anything either.

So I didn’t let up. Everyone saw how I refused to let him think he was done with me. All of this should have ended at Under Attack, I had it all lined up but the announcement…. But then Trios got in the damn way and I had to wait. I can be patient when it’s necessary, but as you all heard me say last week, it’s time for comeuppance. I’m running on fumes and I don’t have time to be patient. And SCW doesn’t have time to allow James Evans to continue to shove everyone around, try to end people’s careers, or to become World Champion again. The last time was one time too many and we can’t let that happen again. Don’t read me wrong, I’m not trying to put down or discount Cid Turner at all. He’s more than proven himself since Taking Hold of the Flame. It’s just that past experience has taught me that when James Evans has his mind set on something, he stops at nothing to get it. And not even the best wrestlers can prepare for or defend from ideas and brutality that they’d never think of themselves.

Unfortunately for James, I’ve survived and dealt out myself more brutality than most on this roster, including James himself. It may come as a shock to SCW fans who haven’t seen my early years but at one time I was seen as one of the most dangerous on the roster I was on then. Anyone familiar with VWA knows that if you go there unprepared for violence, you won’t last very long. It’s why I didn’t have a great run this last time I went back there. I got dropped on my head a few times and realized I just can’t keep up to that level anymore. More than that, I don’t want to. I’ve done and seen enough of that shit to last me the rest of my life… except for tomorrow night. Because I won’t leave a job unfinished.

I will make this statement though, in print where it will never go away.

Win or lose this is it for me.

I meant what I said, this will be my last match, I am done after this. I know I used the word ‘retire’ before and yet here I am. But that was years ago and I’m older now. I tried to ignore it but it’s finally caught up with me. It takes me longer and longer to recover between matches. I have to train harder to keep myself at fighting condition. I’m tired. Twenty years I’ve been doing this and I’m tired. I have one more burst of energy, violence, left in me and I’m giving it all to James Evans.

How does it feel, James? Facing someone who literally has nothing left to lose?

I know you think you can get into anyone’s head and make them question themselves and their abilities, their chances of beating you or from walking away unscathed. But here’s the thing, old friend.

I don’t care what happens to me.

I have nothing to lose, I can give everything I have to ending you, because whatever happens to me doesn’t matter. I will not be fighting again, I have nothing to save myself for, I have no reason for self-preservation. But you James? You will be questioning yourself. You’ve already cashed in your contract and you have a bout with Cid Turner on the horizon, with the World Championship in your sights once again. You’ll be calculating every step. Should you do this, go that far, put your body on the line trying to take me out and risk hurting yourself, knowing you’ve already played your hand and you have Cid ahead? What does he want more, to cripple me or be World Champion again? I don’t have that limitation, it doesn’t matter to me if I walk out of the arena under my own power or not, as long as you are in that ER right next to me, James, because I took you out right along with me!

And what better place for me to go out on my terms than in my own backyard, in a match with no rules where we can both do our best and worst.. Whatever happens, I’m content with knowing it will be in front of twenty thousand of my best friends, whether I walk out in one piece in victory, or wheeled out broken in defeat. Hell, maybe I’ll be wheeled out in victory, wouldn’t be the first time I beat an opponent who injured me. (Hi Andrew, I’m sure you’re paying attention even if you love to pretend you don’t.)

James, you tried to take me out months ago by siccing your attack dogs on me, just because you felt I was a threat. You were right, I am a threat, and you didn’t even have the balls to try to cut me down yourself. I’m just not the threat you thought I was, I’m something else entirely, because while I started this as payback for you trying to injure me, its no longer about just me anymore.

This is for SCW. For Ryan, for Jaina, for Simon, for Bree, for Syren, for Kennedy, for your own kids…. anyone and everyone that you’ve hurt or tried to hurt in your quest for immortality. Here’s the thing though… becoming immortal isn’t always due to success. Some of history’s biggest failures are also immortalized, simply for being failures. Napoleon, Hitler, they’re taught in high school as the best examples of pride coming before the fall. They’ll never be forgotten.

You want to be remembered forever?

I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you’re remembered for being the very last person I tore apart before wrapping up my career. I know what it will take to do that. I know what I have to do, the depths I have to crawl to, the rules I have to forget exist, how much blood I will stand to lose. I know you’re going to try to do the exact same thing to me, but I’ve already taken something away from you before we enter the ring in New Orleans. No matter what you do to me, how broken I may be after it’s all over… you are not the cause of my retirement. I’ve already made that decision for myself. You will not be able to claim you ended my career. You might break some bones, pull some ligaments, make me bleed so much I need a transfusion, but I am still ending this my way.

Throw your worst at me, James. I’ve seen your worst before, up close and personal. You’ve learned a few new tricks since then and I know what I’m asking for, what I’m walking into. It’s the only option I have left to stop you from further harming anyone else or this company. Is this a suicide mission? Maybe. I can be that sacrifice if it means putting you down for good.

I will not be afraid.

I’ve walked this path before, going in with no expectation of coming out the other side the same. It’s likely that I will fail. The hope is that even if I do fail to beat you, I’ll do enough damage that you’ll never be able to inflict the kind of violence you have a penchant for ever again. If I can accomplish just that, I will gladly embrace the darkness… one last time.

~Be Brutal
Amy Chastaine