Fatal Fortunes 2023 #2
{{ Monday, September 25
Gretna, LA
BlackOut Academy }}
Classes have been back full swing for a month now. BlackOut Academy did gain a new trainer in Josh Hudson, and Amy believes he's been a valuable asset to the academy. He and Bree seem to have renewed their friendship, seemingly based on the fact they both have a child around the same age. Amy watched as they spoke more, became closer friends. It amused her, since Josh had asked Amy to make sure Bree wouldn't have any issues working with him, due to their past. The two of them had recently started staying at the gym after classes to train together. From what Amy understood, Josh offered to help Bree with improving her submission skills, as a return favor for helping him with his daughter. Her mother wasn't in the picture, and Josh had never taken care of a baby before.
Today, Amy arrives at the gym early, she has to leave early for a session with Patrick. Wyatt is coming with her for this one, and Amy feels it's needed. The last few weeks since he'd moved into the guest bedroom while Amy worked on rebuilding trust had been.... testy. Wyatt made his gym schedule the same as Amy's for BOA, so they went to the gym and went home at the same time. Amy didn't ask why, she knew. He wanted to keep an eye on her. They drove their own vehicles, but Wyatt was never very far away from Amy. She also knew that when she was away from either her bedroom or her office for a reasonable amount of time, Wyatt would go into those rooms and search. He was obviously looking for any alcohol stashed away somewhere, as Amy had made a habit of doing before rehab. He never told her he was doing it, but Amy would go into the rooms and notice things had been moved around. She didn't ask about it, she just accepted that it was a part of regaining trust. Maybe after enough time passed where Wyatt found nothing (as there was nothing to find), he would stop searching.
But not today. Amy gets upstairs to her gym area and heads to her office. She notices the door is open, which is odd. She always closes it when she leaves at the end of the day. No one else is here yet, as the other trainers aren't scheduled to be here for another hour, and the students an hour after that. Amy goes to the office door and pushes it open further. She glares at what she finds – Wyatt leaning down behind her desk, digging in a bottom drawer.
“Wyatt.”
He looks up, shocked to see her, and rises up from the drawer. “You're early.”
“We left the house at the same time.”
“Yeah, but you don't usually come straight up here.”
“Forget that, what are you doing?”
Wyatt shrugs. “Checking.”
Amy crosses her arms as she steps further into the room. “Oh so it's not enough for you to rifle through my things at home, you've been doing it here, too?”
“I'm just looking out for you.”
“No, you're invading my privacy. You have no right to touch a damn thing on that desk!”
Wyatt puts his hands up and steps out from behind it. “Okay. You're right. I shouldn't be messing with your work area. Or, I should have asked you first to have a look.”
“What exactly are you looking for? Especially here.”
“Amy. Come on.” He looks at her as if she damn well knows the answer.
She glares harder. “No. I want you to say it. I want to hear out loud how after rehab and over a month of counseling and not touching anything even closely resembling alcohol, that you still don't trust me.”
'Fine. I don't. I'm looking for bottles, where I know you had a habit of hiding them.”
Amy shakes her head, looking at the floor. Patrick had ashed her to work on her control issues. Accept that she can only control herself, and not other's actions or reactions. But this? This was blatant control of her. “I can't believe you right now.” Amy looks up and takes a step backwards. “Tell me, did you find anything?”
“Amy-”
“Tell me!”
Wyatt sighs heavily. “No. I haven't.”
“Good. Then you can stop this.”
“Why does it bother you so much? Are you waiting for the opportunity to hide something?”
“That's ridiculous! You've been in counseling with me, you know I'm committed to staying clean. I've done everything asked of me. What is it going to take for you back off?”
“I honestly don't know. You of all people should know how difficult it is to trust someone again after they've broken it. Especially when it was several levels, like you did.”
“So... you think that entitles you to search my offices and my bedroom, and.... come to think of it, probably my car, too.” Wyatt nods. Amy scoffs. “You have no idea what you're doing to me, do you?”
“My intention is to look out for you, to make sure that you're keeping yourself healthy.”
“No. That's not it. You changed your client schedule so that we get here and leave here at the same time. You're searching my shit, and gods know what else... are you listening to my phone calls? Reading my emails? Where does it stop, Wyatt?”
He scowls. “Of course I'm not doing any of that! I just... want to keep an eye on you. So I know you're okay.”
Amy shakes her head, taking another step back, closer to the door. “No. You're hovering. Watching my every move to make sure I'm not 'out of line.' You're acting like him, and I'm not standing for that.”
“Him?” Wyatt frowns. “Are you talking about Blane?” Amy just stares at him, her silence being the confirmation. “You have got to be kidding me!”
“Do I look like I'm kidding?” Amy stands in the doorway now, she's been slowly stepping backwards, away from Wyatt, during this. Her arms still crossed, Amy squeezes them tight, to try to stop the way she's shaking with anger, maybe even a little fear. She feels her chin and lower lip start to twitch.
“Amy... you don't really believe that. I know you don't. I could have killed that motherfucker for what he did to you, and you have the audacity to compare me to him?!”
Amy takes a calming breath before speaking quietly. “Then stop trying to control me. That's how it started.”
The scowl on Wyatt's face drops, and takes a step backwards,stopping against Amy's desk.
“Is that what you think I'm doing?”
“That's what it feels like.”
Wyatt leans on the desk, partially sitting on it, every ounce of indignation gone. “You have to know that's not my intention. I would never do that to you. I just.... don't know what else to do, to make sure you're okay.”
“Back off, is what you do. How am I supposed to regain your trust if you never give me the chance to prove myself?”
Wyatt crosses his arms, mimicking Amy's position. It's so quiet that Amy can hear loud music coming from outside, the traffic from the busy highway the gym is located near. Wyatt breathes deep, to Amy it looks and sound like an attempt to hold back emotion.
“Okay. You're right. You're absolutely right, and I'm sorry. I would rather be dead than do anything that makes you feel the way he did.” Amy's own emotions break and she feels tears going down her cheeks. That one statement gave Amy more hope for saving this than anything else that had been said ever since she left rehab. “I will stop... all of this. The looking for things that aren't there.”
“Thank you.”
Amy then notices the music outside hasn't stopped. In fact, it's gotten louder. Wyatt tilts his head, he hears it too. “What the fuck...”
Amy and Wyatt both leave her office and head to the row of windows at the front of the building. Wyatt gets to it first, and hits the window.
“Motherfucker!”
“What?”
Amy now looks, and sees Simon's truck parked crooked next to her Jeep. The music is coming from him.
“He hit your fucking car!”
“No he...” Amy squints, and sees a large scratch and deep dent in the passenger side door. “Oh... he did.”
“That's it. I have emough of this!”
Wyatt storms off and down the stairs. Amy doesn't bother trying to stop him, or following.
Instead, Amy goes into Simon's office, waiting for him to get upstairs. She had planned on speaking to him today anyway, and what just happened outside makes her more sure of what she'd decided to do. Nadine had called her the night before and told her she ended things with Simon and kicked him out of her house. Amy knew this was going to affect him badly and decided to put him on leave from the academy. That would give him time to process, find a place to stay, handle himself. It would also give Amy a break from having to pretend working in the same room with him didn't bother her. Amy hears yelling from outside. She can only assume it's Wyatt yelling at Simon, and she prays to several gods that he doesn't throw any more punches, like a few weeks ago in Nadine's yard.
Minutes later, Amy hears Simon enter the academy. She's in his office, waiting to speak. He enters, is surprised to see her... and everything goes downhill from there. Simon doesn't react well to Amy's suggestion that he take time off, and then Amy notices the one thing that gives her an out – a reason to finally fire him. The smell of whiskey hovering around him. At nearly nine AM. The man got dressed and chose to come to work already drinking, and judging by the way her car looked.... drunk. At one time she would have felt sorry for him – his girlfriend kicked him out and sent him to a bottle. But today... she just feels relief. She can let him go.
“Simon... you're fired!”
“Fine!”
Simon yells some swears and vague, likely empty, threats before leaving. Amy takes a deep breath and exhales hard, trying to push every last molecule of air from her lungs. She needs to physically feel the weight gone from her shoulders. Laying her head on the desk, that's exactly what she feels. Like one huge encumbrance that had been hindering her recovery was gone. She sits up and leans back in the chair, eyes closed. Taking deep, meditative breaths, Amy starts to feel better already.
Amy's quiet moment is interrupted by a knock. She looks up at the open door, and sees Wyatt standing in the doorway. She stands and leans her hands on the back of the chair, a subconscious attempt to protect herself.
“Are you okay?”
“I will be.”
“I heard yelling, so I started to come back up here. He stormed out of here before I could get to the stairs though. He damn near wrecked peeling out of the parking lot. What happened?”
“I fired him.”
“What?”
“I had to. He tried to work drunk. He could have hurt someone. I had to protect my students and my academy.”
“He finally gave you a reason you can give the public.” Amy nods. “Thank whatever god may be there.”
“I'm sure you're pleased. It's what you've wanted for months.”
“I'm pissed he wrecked your car and tried to compromise the integrity of your school. So yes, I'm glad you did it. But more importantly?” Wyatt steps into the room. “I'm proud of you.” He steps closer, and for the first time in months, reaches up and holds her cheek in his palm, his thumb rubbing her face gently. Amy is stunned at the touch and doesn't try to move as he leans in and gently kisses her other cheek. “I am.” Wyatt backs away and leaves the room without another word.
More hope.
December 7
Calgary
-----------------
I sit here this afternoon in Calgary, contemplating everything about what Fatal Fortunes means to me.
Years ago, in 2017, this event was one of the biggest nights in my career at the time. I had just won the Shot of Adrenaline tournament, earning me a match against the Adrenaline Champion for the title. That champion was Christy Matthews. I won't go over the convoluted details as to why we had an extra match rather than us fighting over the title in the tournament finals... none of that is important. The important part is something very few people know.
Prior to that match, I was contemplating retirement. I had just lost the United States Championship to a man almost half my age. I felt like I couldn't keep up with the newer, younger, talent coming into the business. I had almost no motivation to face Christy. She's an SCW legend, highly decorated, rarely defeated. I didn't think I had a chance.
I was reminded why I do this by someone who means a lot to me, and history shows that I proved I could keep up after all. I won the Adrenaline Championship from Christy at that Fatal Fortunes event, I knocked her out and it was called a submission win. It was one of my proudest moments in my career, even to this day.
Why do I bring this up, six years later?
We're faced with the same event, and coming into this.... I'm struggling with the same feelings as back then. Should I still be doing this? Can I still keep up? I'm six years older now and I wasn't ever on the young side of this roster. Am I extending my legacy by this comeback, or am I making a fool out of myself?
At Under Attack I agreed to face Kelsai Adamson, and the same worries were on my mind. I managed to overcome the doubts then and I won. Kelsai and I hugged, it was a moment I won't soon forget. Does it mean I can still do this at the level I expect from myself, though?
Maybe.
Fatal Fortunes will test that.
Every single person on the roster – even my daughter, who decided to join in – will be booked, yet for two weeks, none of us know who we're facing, what championship we may have a chance at, if any, or what kind of match we'll be walking into when the bell rings. There is no way to prepare for this, except to expect anything.
Not too long ago, that concept would have paralyzed me. The concept takes the control out of our hands, out of the GM's hands even... and rests all of our futures on fate. Spin the wheel, pull the paper, find out who gets what and against who. The lack of control, the lack of knowing what I was walking into would have terrified me.
But, I've been learning to let things go.
There are so many things in life that we wish we could control, but we can't. Our loved one's choices, their reactions. Decisions at work that can make or break careers. Sometimes even our own emotions. Feelings aren't rational and sometimes its a struggle to reconcile how we feel with what we know reality is.
Going into Breakdown this week and next week, I know the reality is that I am putting my career into the hands of fate. I could get a match that means nothing against a rookie, or I could end up fighting for the World Championship. That's something I never saw myself getting anywhere close to again, but fate might say different.
Instead of letting this terrify me, paralyze me, make me feel out of control... I choose to let go. Of the need to know, the need to be prepared. The old adage 'expect the unexpected' applies here. Instead of focusing on one match, one person, one championship... stressing over how to best face that person, what that title means, how to perform in a certain match type.... there's nothing to obsess over, because I just don't know. That's a freeing thought. All I can do is prepare myself to do the best I can, work my own style, remember everything I've accomplished and remind myself that I am still capable of anything I set my mind to.
I'm setting my mind to accepting whatever fate lays at my feet... and taking advantage of whatever opportunity may come along with it. I have no control over what match I'll be faced with. But I am in control of myself, and I know in my heart I can handle anything fate throws at me.
~Be Brave,
Amy Chastaine