Taking Hold of the Flame 2023 #2
Playing the Wildcard didn't go as Amy had hoped. She and Simon teamed up to face Light in the Darkness. It was Simon's second Pay Per View back, and he'd had other matches. But it was Amy's first match in almost four years. Not only was there that pressure to perform, but she wasn't in the best frame of mind. She was still upset about Jason's abrupt leaving. He had helped her train to get cleared and for this return, she thought she would have that support for this match... but that was gone. She got nervous, doubted herself for a second... and it cost them. Amy took the pin. Simon had tried to make her feel better after the show, but it didn't work, because she could tell he was upset, too.
Amy shook it off, though, like she taught herself how to do long ago, and went back to work. Training, and at the shelter. People still needed her help, and she had to be there and present for them.
{{ Thursday, May 4
Harvey, LA }}
The young woman Annie, who had been rescued from her husband and abuser in the middle of the night, was still staying at the Maplewood safe house. She had no family in the area, so no place else to go. She couldn't stay with her best friend, because Kirk would find her there. So, she stayed with NH. Annie spoke to the counselors, did therapy, and had even started a job that Bonnie found for her – not customer facing so she was protected from Kirk seeing her at random. Instead, she was in an office, doing data entry for an inventory company. She was saving her money to get her own place. Amy had gone to court with her when she filed for a protection order. Amy knew from experience that didn't often actually protect the victim, but it had to be done for legal reasons, so there was a paper trail if he ever tried to do anything else to her. Annie had even spoken with the NHF's lawyer, Karen King, about pressing criminal charges.
Today though, when Amy went to check on Annie in the morning, she didn't look well.
“Amy... I think I'm sick.”
“What's wrong, hon?”
“I'm real tired, like I can't get up. And I feel like I'm gonna throw up.”
“Did you take your temperature?”
Annie nods. “Normal.”
“Do you want to go to the doctor? I can get you in at a urgent care. It sounds like a virus, maybe the flu.”
“That's what I thought. I might have got it from someone at work.”
“So you want to go?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
Amy had got Annie a bottle of water and made the call. There was an urgent care near the shelter that would accept shelter patients through a rear door, for safety reasons. Amy drove Annie there, and now sits waiting for Annie to return from seeing the doctor. Soon, she comes out with the nurse. Amy could see her face is red, and she looks almost shell-shocked. She's carrying a small stack of papers. Amy recognized the one on top as a prescription. Amy gets up and meets her at the door to walk out.
“Are you okay? What is it?”
Annie says nothing as they get back into Amy's Jeep. Amy pulls out of the space and slowly goes through the parking lot.
“Annie? Are you okay?”
“I have to confess something.” Annie looks down at the papers in her hands, not at Amy, as she talks. “I never told you or Bonnie what happened the night I called y'all. What made me finally do something to leave was.... was he raped me.” Amy slows down, and looks at her. “He had before, like a year ago. But this time was worse. He was actively trying to hurt me.”
“I see. Can I ask why didn't you report this when you came in?”
Annie looks up. “Oh, I did. To the counselors and the therapist. And the doctor too. I just didn't tell you or Bonnie. I didn't want anyone who didn't need to know, to know.”
Amy understands. It's a common reaction to rape, one that she had experienced herself.
“Okay. I understand that.”
“I'm sorry. I should have trusted you.”
“It's okay. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to share. It's only important to report these things to the right people. Is it in your court document?” Annie nods. She has a bad feeling about the timing of this confession. “Annie... why are you admitting this to me now?”
Annie looks up, eyes watery. “Cause I didn't catch a cold or flu from work. I'm pregnant.”
“Okay. Let's get you back home and we can talk about your options.”
“No need. I know what to do. I have to tell him. He'll stop for the baby.”
Amy stops the car, then pulls into another parking spot right before the driveway out to the street. Annie looks at her confused about why they stopped. Amy puts the car in park and turns in her seat to face Annie the best she can.
“Can I share with you my experience?”
“Okay.”
“When I was about your age, I was married, too. Blane was a lot like Kirk. I wasn't literally locked up, but he didn't want me to speak to very many people, especially my guy friends from school. When I got pregnant, I thought the same thing you're thinking now. He'll change. For a while, he did. The whole time I was pregnant, he was like a different man. Then I had my daughter. And less than a month later, I got backhanded for answering the phone.”
Annie snaps her head up. “He didn't change...”
“Not really, no. Men like this never do.”
“How do you know Kirk won't, though? I can't just not tell him, not try.”
“Do you really want a baby?”
“No... but I don't believe in abortion, so don't even suggest that to me.”
“Okay, I respect that, I won't. But... I strongly urge to really think about this before you try to contact him. I can show you research with real percentage numbers on how often things like this turn out badly. I was lucky. He could have killed me.”
Annie sits a moment, looking at her paperwork, then nods. “Okay. I'll think about it.”
“Thank you. I'm always available to talk. You have my number.”
Annie nods, and Amy drives out of the parking lot.
On the way back to Maplewood, Amy is struck at how much Annie reminds her of herself at that age. Early twenties, in a toxic and dangerous marriage, but still convinced that she could somehow change her husband. Her own ignorance had nearly killed her. She was lucky thanks to Wyatt. A lot of women aren't lucky, and some end up dead. As she drops Annie off at the house, she asks her gods to watch over Annie, and help her to make the right, safe decision.
{{ Monday, May 8
Gretna, LA
New Horizon Shelter }}
Amy sits with Bonnie in the office at the shelter. It's mid-morning and they are concerned. Bonnie reads over her notes.
“Okay, go over it again. Annie called you when?”
Amy sighs. This was the third time. But they had nothing else to do. “Yesterday morning. Around ten. She told me she decided to meet with Kirk and tell him about the baby. I warned her it was dangerous, and she told me she picked a public place to meet so it would be safer. I offered to go with her, thinking I could talk her out of it before we got there. She declined. I told her thanks for letting me know, and to call if she needs help, and afterwards to let me know she was safe. I haven't heard from her since.”
Bonnie nods, reading the notes along as Amy spoke. “And she never returned to Maplewood.”
“Bonnie, why are we going over this over and over? She's missing. I called hospitals, nothing. Police, they're looking for her. Retreading what happened isn't going to help us find her.”
Bonnie sighs. “I know. You're right. I just hate not being able to do anything.”
“I don't like it either.”
“Do you think maybe she just went home with him and didn't call us or answer because she went back with him?”
“I hope not. But that-”
The phone rings. Bonnie answers it. She listens, not saying much. Then her face falls. Amy's heart drops.
“Yes. Thank you for your call, officer.”
“Police?” Bonnie nods. “Annie?”
“They found her. She...” Bonnie shakes her head, near tears.
“FUCK!”
Amy pounds the desk with her fist, then covers her face with both hands. She failed. She tried and tried to talk Annie out of meeting with Kirk, but she failed. And now Annie is dead. She asks questions without looking up.
“Where? How?”
“The backyard of her husbands home. Neck broken. And several stab wounds to her abdomen.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” There were many, many, more words Amy wanted to say, but that one was all that would come out. It was clear to Amy what happened. Kirk did not want a baby. And probably broke her neck to stop her screaming in pain.
“Amy. I need you to breathe. This isn't your fault, okay?” Amy nods, but doesn't raise her head. “I'm serious. Annie made her own choices and the blame is on Kirk. You hear me?”
Amy raises her head. Her face is red and eyes filled with tears. “I hear you.”
Bonnie hands her a tissue. Amy wipes her eyes. “The police want a statement from both of us. When we're up to it.”
“Okay. But not now. I have to go.” Amy stands up and grabs her bag.
“I don't know if you should drive this upset. Are you okay?”
“No. I am not okay. But I can't let any of the women here see me like this. I have to go.”
Bonnie sighs. “Okay. Please be careful though.”
“Sure.”
Amy leaves.
* * * * *
A few hours later, Amy is home. Alone. Wyatt was out of town for an expo with a gym equipment vendor. Loki was at his after-school MMA class and wouldn't be back for a few hours. There was no one to call. Simon was in LA visiting his daughter. And, well... Jason had left her.
Amy sits in her office, with the door closed and locked., thinking about how she got here, to this moment, in this condition. When she left the shelter, instead of coming straight home, she'd made a stop. A small local grocery store she hadn't been to in a few years. After grabbing her two items, she went to the register. She was certain it was the same cashier as years before, and also certain that the young woman recognized her. Amy didn't care. She bought her items and went home.
Amy stares at the small glass in her hand. It's on its third refill, and that is half gone. Silent tears fall for everything that led here. The way she hadn't allowed herself to really feel the loss when Jason left, she hadn't wanted anyone to know how much that hurt. For Annie, the young woman who was so much like Amy had been. Smart, pretty, but hardheaded and stubborn. Amy couldn't save her. She tried but it wasn't enough. And finally, for the way she couldn't save herself from breaking down. It was all just too much. Amy knew exactly what she was doing, and she hates that she's been broken down to this level, that she gave in... but it just shows that no matter how together an addict thinks they have their shit, if they're kicked down hard enough, they will reach for the thing they know will either comfort them or numb everything. Amy needed to be numb. Just for a little while. She downs the rest of the glass, then sets it down on her desk, between the Di Saronno and orange juice.
Just for today.
{{ Wednesday, May 31
Harvey, LA
Amy's Home }}
The last three weeks had been a blur. SCW went to Salt Lake City. Amy hated that city, they had weird liquor laws. Once there though, she discovered that those laws changed. She'd gone to a nearby state-run package store and picked up two bottles of her favorite red wine, paid in cash. No trail that way. She'd finished one off and was about to open the second when Simon arrived. They had planned to spend the night in the same room, and she had given him a key card to hers. He saw what she was doing, got very angry about it, but stopped her from drinking the rest. He did spend the night with her, just doing his best to keep her calm until they fell asleep. She'd made Simon promise not to tell anyone what he found. He made the promise, and Amy trusted him to keep his word.
More shows happened. Amy didn't remember many of them. Simon had a match that he lost, she remembered that. He was very upset about it. At some point, Amy was in one city or another when Bonnie called her. The police had arrested Kirk, Annie's husband. That was little solace though, instead it was another reminder that Amy had failed her.
Today, Amy and Wyatt are hosting a small celebration dinner at home. Loki had passed all his skills tests in his MMA class, where he focused on BJJ, and been promoted to a green belt. Invited were Nadine and Simon, as Loki wanted his cousin Kayla to be at the promotion ceremony and the dinner. Also, Bonnie and her daughter Carly. Amy had finally confirmed from the teens that they were indeed dating. And finally, Jaina. Loki couldn't do something so important without his first best friend there, his big sister.
Dinner is over, and Jaina and Kayla are in the kitchen cleaning up. Loki and Carly wet to the living room to watch the video of his skills test. This leaves the adults at the table. Amy had a good day, she hadn't felt the need to numb anything. She was proud of her son, and proud of her progress in training, getting read for Taking Hold of the Flame. Part of her thinks it's silly for her to enter, but another part reminded her that the one thing in her career that she'd never done was win a battle royal. It would be silly to not even try.
Sitting around the table, Amy is internally amused at the strings that could be tied between everyone here. She had done as Simon asked, and kept any hint of their agreement out of any conversations around Nadine. Amy had mentioned this to Wyatt too, so he wouldn't accidentally say something and upset her.
The conversation all night had been friendly, fun, and amusing at times. They were now speaking about their favorite restaurants and bars. Only Amy knew the irony as she named places she hadn't been to in years. She didn't need a bar, she had the bottom drawer of the desk in her office. Yet, the conversation was lighthearted and fun as everyone listed off their favorite places, menu items, and drinks. Amy couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed an evening so much. She had even almost forgotten about-
“Amy, what's the place Jason owns called? In LA?” Nadine asked the question. Amy's breath caught, she hadn't been expecting anything about him to come up.
“Uh... The Black Dahlia.”
“That's right! I remember going there once, and they had some drink of the night special that was so good! I can't remember the name of it, though. It was pink, and with vodka I think.”
Amy cringed inwardly. She knew that one well. “Blood Moonrise.” She spoke softly, almost deadpan.
“That was it! I should have known you'd know.”
“I'd better, I named it.” Amy couldn't be mad at her best friend, she had put on a front to everyone that she was perfectly okay with how things were. No one knew it was actually murdering her. Wyatt gives her a look.
“You did? I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, that was me.” Amy forces a smile.
“It's a great name. And a great drink, I loved it. You'll have to tell me what's in it so we can make it.”
“I actually don't remember.”
“Would it be weird if you asked him?”
Amy's eyes go hard, and no one notices but Wyatt. “We're actually not speaking right now. We thought it would best to let things settle a while before contacting each other.” That was true, Jason had suggested it the day he left. Amy didn't like it, but she had no ground to stand. All of this had been his call.
“I thought that was a good idea, too.”
“Oh. I'm sorry... I didn't know.”
“It's okay, don't worry about it. I might have the recipe saved on my computer somewhere.”
“Oh, okay. No big deal really, but let me know if you find it.” Amy nods, and Nadine smiles. “Thanks. You know, I have to say, I think it's amazing how you guys can just sit there and talk openly about that. Your... arrangement.” Amy's eyes narrow. Something about that didn't seem right.
Wyatt notices Amy's silence and replies. “It's been several years now, we're just used to it. It was awkward sometimes at first, though.”
“I can imagine.” She shakes her head. “I just don't know how you do it. I understand it's an agreement, and that's great it works for you, but I couldn't do it. Share? No way.” Nadine laughs a little.
What?
Amy glances at Wyatt. She can tell he heard the same thing. Amy looks across the table at Simon, barely containing her rage.
He lied.
Simon had clearly never spoken to Nadine about he and Amy. He'd been lying to them both all this time. Two months! And not only that, his lying caused Amy to lie to Nadine. One of her oldest and best friends. No... practically family. Nadine had been in a relationship with Heath, Wyatt and Bree's older brother, when he died. He was Kayla's father. If Heath hadn't been killed in that car accident, Nadine would be Amy's sister-in-law. And Simon was betraying them both.
Wyatt's knee nudges Amy's leg under the table. She knows what he wants, to talk to her. But she can't just abruptly get up. Only a few seconds had passed since Nadine's statement.
“Well... it's not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. I am glad you accepted it though, because not everyone does. I mean, look at Bree's initial reaction.” There was some nervous laughter, and Amy was instantly sorry she brought that up, because it was about Jason.
“Listen, you are my oldest friend, and I will accept anything that makes you happy. Except sharing.” Nadine laughs. Simon joins her, as if nothing in the world was wrong. Amy forces a laugh, then gets up.
“And on that note, I'm gonna go to the kitchen and check on the girls' clean up efforts.” She turns and walks away. She hears Simon saying something but can't make out the words.
Once in the kitchen, Amy can barely contain her rage. Jaina and Kayla were nearly done.
“Thanks, girls. I'll finish up. You can go join Loki watching his tests.”
“You're welcome, mom.”
“Thanks! I wanted to see it again.”
The girls leave, and Wyatt walks in past them. Amy is leaning on the island, her hands gripping the edge of the counter. She looks up when she realized Wyatt is in the room... and sees the angriest glare in his eyes that she's seen in a long, long time.
“What the unholy fuck?!” Wyatt asks in an angry but controlled volume voice.
“I don't fucking know! He lied to me! No wonder he didn't want us to mention it in front of her! I can't believe I fell for that shit!” Amy does her best to keep her voice down, as well.
“You trusted him. Hell, so did I.” Wyatt shakes his head.
“I can't fucking believe this. I just can't.”
Amy leaves the kitchen, hoping to find a way to continue the night without losing her shit. There was no way she was going to be the one to inform Nadine about this, not her best friend, and not when it wasn't her fault. But that wasn't a worry. Simon was gone. Nadine was holding her purse.
“I'm sorry, Simon all of a sudden isn't feeling well We're gonna head home. Is it okay if Kayla stays over?”
“Of course. I hope he feels better soon.” Of course he was sick now! He new he was caught!
“I'll tell him. Bye!”
Nadine leaves. Soon after, Bonnie and Carly leave too. Jaina was staying over as well, and the kids all wet upstairs, Leaving Wyatt and Amy alone.
“Are you not going to say anything?”
“Not to Nadine. But I'm absolutely gonna tell him right the fuck off! Tomorrow... after I calm down.”
Wyatt goes upstairs to shower. Amy goes to her office. Locks the door. Opens the bottom desk drawer. Doesn't even bother with a glass, just gulps the amber liquid from the bottle.
FUCK!!
June 2, 2023
Milwaukee
---------------
Hello, Dear Readers.
Did you miss me? I hope you understand now why I haven't been doing the SCW Pay Per View preview blogs. I've been far too busy preparing to make this comeback. And I didn't trust myself to not write about the extra work, and physical therapy, and doctor appointments to get cleared.
I hope it was worth missing the blogs. And I'm afraid this one will be short. I don't have much to say. But what I do have to say, is very important.
I'm sure a lot of people are wondering why I decided to do this, despite what I've said on air. But the answer remains the same. I'm a woman of my word. I made promise to my friend Simon, ad I kept it.
In that battle royal, though, there are no friends. There are forty people going in with one thing on their mind, no matter what. Win.
I've often said I'm content with my career as a whole. I've done everything. Been a World Champion in three companies. Inducted into two Hall of Fames. Become a Supreme Champion here. It would seem like I have nothing left to do, nothing else to prove. But that's wrong.
There is one thing I have never done in my career, that even now, sticks in my mind and bothers me.
I have never won a battle royal. I've won cage matches and Ironman matches and Hell in a Cells... even chambers. Yet this is the one match type that's always been my bane. I came back because I made a promise to a friend, and we do intend on entering the tag division.
But I would be a fool if I didn't enter this and try to accomplish the one thing I've never been able to accomplish in nearly twenty years. Getting the chance to make the SCW World Championship the only championship I hold twice just adds to the motivation.
Make mo mistake... the one thing I am not... is a fool.
~ Amy Chastaine