Breakdown 9-14-23 #2
In a dark room, a candle flame slowly lights, and grows bigger. The candle comes into view by the light and is revealed to be a large white pillar. As the flame gets brighter, the iron candle stand the pillar is standing on comes into view. And finally, behind the candle a figure steps out of the shadow and into the light. Bree Lancaster smiles as she becomes visible in the light. She's wearing a white lacy top, over a white tank, hair loose around her shoulders.
I hope you'll forgive me for the bit of dramatic flair... but I felt like I needed to represent myself from the last few weeks. I wasn't in a good place. I know that plenty of people have things worse than I do, but that doesn't make my struggles any less valid, or any less anxiety inducing. I thought I had been doing well, managing the anxiety, and PTSD, and... some things too complicated to get into here. But I was clearly wrong. I couldn't manage it, and I lost control of myself. Rise to Greatness, I lost my ring awareness. The first Breakdown back, for my rematch with Deanna Frost to try to get the United States Championship back... I lost my confidence. I went in with a different game plan, one reminiscent of myself from a few years ago. It was... a step backwards, in my growth.
Obviously, and rightly, it didn't work.
Regressing was not the right decision for me to move forward. I was lost in the shadows of my own mind.
When I got home after losing to Deanna again, a few things became clear. One... Deanna may have a distinct lack of respect for the title she holds and an ego so deluded she doesn't think she has one... but the woman can take almost anything that anyone can dish out. Her talent, her toughness... I can respect that. Everything else though?
Bree shakes her head.
I can't do that. Not when the disrespect she's spewed involves the championship that means the most to me. I'm fully aware that losing the rematch puts me firmly at the end of the line, but I will promise everyone listening right now... I will not back down from trying to get myself back to a place where I can challenge for it again. Whether it's Deanna for a third time, or someone else. I have my own mistakes to atone for.
Bree looks down at the flame for a moment, then back up.
Another thing that became clear, was that I had to look deeper inside myself than I did after Rise to Greatness. I thought I had faced everything. I thought I came to an understanding with my shadow and I could move forward. Instead I moved backwards and... we all saw how that turned out. So, I knew I had to dig deeper. There were things in the shadows I thought I had dealt with, except I had only shoved them into the darkest corners.
This time? I dealt with them.
I'm still dealing with them. They're too big to come to terms with and clear up so quickly. But I've made progress. I've realized what I did wrong. I've recognized the underlying cause of why I thought a certain way and did certain things. And I am working to do better going forward.
I am slowly stepping out of the darkness into the light.
Bree gives a slight smile, and steps closer to the candle, showing more of her as now her arms and hands clasped in front of her come into view.
For me, that means leaving the United States Championship behind me, for the time being, and looking ahead at what's in front of me. That being the Tag Team division, along with my friend Datura, and the Tag Team Championships. I'll go ahead and state the obvious, Statera had our chance to become champions at Rise to Greatness, and we failed. There are many reasons for that, some our fault, yes. But some things are the fault of others. Those who were not in the match getting involved. Even SCW to a degree for essentially refusing to book Datura and I in any real tag matches together until that title match. I may get some heat for that, but Lux Veritatis demands that we shine light on all of the truth. Liz and I have no issues taking personal responsibility for the missteps we made at Rise, but I can not and will not ignore the culpability of others that led to our failure.
With new ownership and new management in place here in SCW, Statera is getting another chance to earn the right to challenge for the Tag Team Championships again, and this time that title match will be one team versus one team. Even. Fair.
Tag Team Turmoil, though? Not even at all. For a team to win, they must outlast every other team entered. If Statera and I start the match, we'll have to run the gauntlet. If we get to the last team, exhausted, sore, potentially hurt... and the last team comes out fresh, is that even? Is that fair? No. But it's the rules of the match. We know what we're getting into. And as someone who once benefited from being drawn as the last team in a match like this... I understand all sides of the way this works. I know that we have to be prepared to run through ten other teams. Twenty other people who want this opportunity just as much as we do. We can't go all out right away only to end up too worn out to see it through to the end.
We have to be smart. Methodical. And most of all, keep our focus.
Bree grins, and shrugs a little.
I realize that staying focused has been a problem for both Datura and I recently. But please don't write us off because of that. Please don't expect us to be easily distracted and underestimate what we will bring to the ring. We don't want this to be easy. We want to truly earn it.
Until now, Statera has not had one standard tag match. Even Rise to Greatness was a triple threat. At Breakdown though? There's the potential for ten. We could make up for lost time as a team all in one night. Odds are, we'll have less than that, likely somewhere in the middle, depending on the draw. But make no mistake, we are ready and eager to show the world exactly what we are capable of, now that we have the chance to do so.
Should we win the Turmoil and become the number one contenders – again? We are looking forward to facing the champions X Rated straight up. No other teams, no besties at ringside. Just two of the best teams in the business, facing off to see who's better. I don't expect them to fight clean, but wouldn't it be nice if they did? Wouldn't it be amazing to find out what team is truly the better team?
But first... Breakdown. Turmoil. And Statera giving it everything we have, because we have nothing left to lose.
Bree smiles, then reaches out to the candle, and pinches the flame out.