Retribution 2024 #2
{{ Thursday, February 22
Vancouver
Bree's hotel room }}
It's been a busy twenty-four hours.
After yesterday morning and Dom and I's conversation, followed by going upstairs to bed... my emotions have been in a tailspin and my head is all discombobulated. The time we spent in bed was the exact opposite of the last time before that. As much as I had hated that experience, that's how good this one was. Maybe it was because I believed him about Amanda, or because he was finally behaving like himself again, like the man I married and not whoever the hell some script writer came up with. More likely a combination. The thing that got to me though was that afterwards? I felt more like I had just cheated on Josh, rather than the other way around.
Isn't that fucked up?
I didn't have much time to really contemplate it though, because Dom and I were both busy. I had to get to Vancouver for Breakdown, and he had to get to Los Angeles for show promotion work. Photo calls, TV appearances, interviews, all of the usual spots that precede a release. I thought it would be different since this is a series and not a movie, but turns out the promo tour is largely the same. So, we had to figure out logistics, and that is not my strong suit. We ended up going to Los Angeles first to let Dom off the plane, then the rest of us – myself, Amy, Jaina, Marie, and Heath – went to Vancouver. We got settled into our rooms later than I would have liked, but a least we were there the night before, to be rested. I hate it when the show is across the country.
Anyway, Breakdown is over, Retribution is set. I am facing Autumn Valentine. Simon will hopefully be getting his ass kicked again by Adam Brock (who I owe a thank you of some sort), and Amy will face Kirsten Scott. I'm not exactly sure what's going on there, Kirsten thinks Amy needs to mind her business or something. A few years ago I might have agreed, but tonight? I asked Amy to come to my room for a while and talk. I need her all up in my business, because I need serious help.
Sitting at the table in my room, the remnants of the dinner Amy had brought up scattered over it, Amy leans on the table and gives me that look. The one that means it's time to get to it. We've already discussed everything about Breakdown and Retribution while we ate our salads.
“Okay. Now tell me what's going on.”
“I don't know what's going on, not in my head anyway. That's the problem.”
“Okay. We'll figure it out. Judging by yesterdays flight, I'm assuming you and Dom worked things out after you got home?”
“Yeah. I think so. I mean... yeah. We went over some things, but the main thing was... I asked him. Point blank.” I know she knows what I mean.
“What did he say?”
“No.” I shrug.
“And you believe that?”
“I do.”
Amy sighs, leaning back into her chair. “Why? I read the article, it was pretty convincing.”
“I just do. You know how you can always tell when one of the kids, or me, or even Wyatt isn't telling you the truth?” Amy nods. “It's the same thing. He looked me right in the eyes and said no. He wasn't lying.”
“Okay. If that's what you trust, then I trust your judgment.”
“Thank you. So, after that we... well. Went to bed.” I give her a look, so she'd catch my meaning.
“Right. And how did that go?” I had told her about the weird rough one. I admit I had some wine before I called her for that conversation, although she didn't know that.
“Good. Great. Amazing, even. Like normal, before any of this shit started.”
“I see why your head is mixed up.”
“So I'm not just being... I don't even know what to call it.”
“I think what you're feeling is normal for anyone in your situation. I haven't been in the exact same place... but I get it.”
“Okay. So I'm normal for a cheater. Now what?”
“Well... are you still planning on leaving him?”
“I don't know. That's the whole problem. I had myself set on doing it yesterday when I got home. But I let him talk first, and it went the way it went, and....” I shrug.
“And you didn't get around to it.”
“No. I was too busy feeling like an ass for listening to the fucking media, as if I don't know better by now, and then more busy getting busy. What am I supposed to do now?”
“If you're seriously asking me to tell you what to do with your life and your marriage, I'm afraid you're wasting your time.”
I sigh hard, and lean my head into my arms on the table. ”No, I'm not. Not really. I just...” I look back up. “I can't sort through it all on my own. I don't have anyone else to talk to.” Both Liz and Jaina know about Josh, but they're not the same. Amy reaches over and lays her hand on my arm, giving me a little squeeze.
“Okay, that I can help you do.”
“Thank you.”
“Let me ask you this. Was believing the women in the articles the reason you decided to do it?”
“Not the only reason, no. That character he's playing is part of it. I'm just so sick of all the acting bullshit. And this was just... so different. Doing a movie, he'd work for a few weeks, and be done. No more of the character. This though? It was months. Because its hours more content than a movie. I feel like that character lived in my house, and I hate him.”
“And you've told him this?”
“We keep arguing about it. I don't think he realizes how much of the character he brought home. I told him that. But take the cheating out of it, since that's not true. Is being sick of his job enough of a reason to walk away? We have a son. Is it fair to him?”
“First of all, the best thing for your son is what makes you both happy. If you're miserable, keeping that energy around him isn't good for him. Kids can sense that.” I remember how Heath was upset by our yelling. “Secondly... his job isn't the only reason though, is it? What about Josh?”
I sigh, closing my eyes. “There's that, too. I'm almost upset that it's not true, it would have made everything so much easier if it was.” My eyes are still closed, I couldn't look Amy in the eyes while admitting that.
“What, to have an excuse to leave and be with Josh?”
“Yeah.” I make myself look at her. She seems upset for me.
“I think that tells you what you really want, more than anything else. I never asked you this before, I didn't think it was my business, but seeing as how you're making it my business... do you love him?”
I nod, then make myself speak. “Yeah.”
“You've said so?" I nod again. "Both of you?”
“Yes.” Amy nods once, taking that in. “I.. also told him I was going to leave Dom.”
“Oh, Bree.” Amy shakes her head at me.
“I probably shouldn't have done that.”
“It does make this a little more tricky.”
“Trust me, I'm aware.”
“Well, I can't tell you what to do about Dom, but what I do suggest, is that you say nothing about your apparent make-up session to Josh. Not unless you do change your mind and stay. What wouldn't be fair, is messing with his head if you're not sure. You can't jerk people around like that.”
“I agree with that. I wasn't going to.” I did consider it... but realized how stupid it is.
“As for what you should do? Only you know that for yourself. No one can tell your heart what it wants, it just... wants. It's up to you to listen to it and follow that.”
“I'm trying. I just don't want to make a mistake that I can't fix.”
“Following your heart is never a mistake. The way you choose to handle it might be. But whatever you decide, I know you'll do it the right way. You care too much about them both to do otherwise.”
“I really do. I don't want anyone getting hurt from any of this, but I know that's impossible.”
“Probably. Sometimes life sucks and we can only do our best to mitigate the damage.”
It's all my fault. I'm the one fucking around and keeping secrets. Maybe I don't deserve either of them. I can't say that though, I know Amy will tell me that's bullshit. It probably is.
“Well, since Dom is in LA for a few days, I am going to stay at Josh's tomorrow night. I'll just see how that goes and go from there.”
“That's all you can do for now. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like I've helped you much, or at all.”
“No, you did. Gave me different ways to think about things. And just.... listened. Maybe I needed that more than anything else.”
“I am always here for that. And let me make this clear, too. Whatever you end up deciding to do, I'll support you and I'm here for you.”
“Thank you.” I close my eyes again and wipe my face off. I feel a flutter against my arm and look. Amy is handing me a napkin. I grin and take it.
I still don't know what to do, but I do feel more certain that when I do decide... it'll be right.
{{ Friday, February 23
Gretna, LA
Josh's condo }}
It's evening and I've been here at Josh's place since this afternoon. The flight home from Vancouver was long and I napped on the plane. When I got home, I took my luggage inside, grabbed another set of clothes for myself and Heath, and got right back in my car. I didn't even take Heath out of his carseat. Jaina was with him while I got the clothes, I dropped her off home and drove here.
We had dinner, Josh ordered sushi, he's learned that it's my favorite. Heath and Jalyn played with some of her toys on the floor for a while, until it was obvious they were sleepy. I put them both in Jalyn's bed for the night, and as I turned out the light and stepped out of the door, it almost felt normal. Like this was my family, the four of us.
Wondering if something is wrong with me for that, I go back out into the living room, where Josh is finishing throwing the toys into the box in the corner.
“Are they out?”
“Like little lights.”
Josh smiles as he lets himself fall back onto the couch, then pats the spot next to him, for me to sit there. I do, and he pulls me against him.
“This is what I was waiting for.”
“For the kids to go to sleep?”
“For you leaning against me.” We've made it a point to not be overly touchy in front of them, to not confuse things more than necessary.
“This does feel good. It's been a rough few days.”
“That it's been. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“You never told me what happened when you went home the other morning.”
“That's not a question, babe.” I'm stalling I don't know why, he'll just ask.
“Okay. What happened?”
See? I sigh. I don't want to lie, but I don't want to tell the whole truth, either.
“Well, we... agreed that we were both too harsh the night before. I asked him if it was true, he said no, and we-”
“Wait, wait, hold on. You asked? Directly?”
“I did.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I don't know.” Okay, so I told one little lie.
“So, nothing's really changed.”
“Not really. Not yet.”
“I see. How long is he gone for?”
“He's coming back Sunday. He has a talk show thing tonight, and some appearance tomorrow with the rest of the cast.”
I'm expecting Josh to now ask me if I will stay over tomorrow night, too. I plan to say no, I can't stay here for days and then go home like nothing happened. I am not that good at lying. Josh surprises me, though.
“Do you want to watch it? Whatever show he's doing?”
I sit up and look at him “What?”
“Were you wanting to watch it?”
“I mean, I usually do. But if it'll be weird, we don't have to. I can find it online tomorrow so I know what happened.”
“It's fine. We can watch it. I'm oddly curious.”
“Okay.” I lean back against him and get comfortable. For now.
This is gonna be weird, I don't care what Josh says.
An hour later, I turn the TV to the network the talk show is on. It's airing live, not prerecorded like some of them are. I can't remember the name of it, they're all generic these days. And the host is some young guy I don't recognize.
“Good evening everyone, and welcome back to the show. Our first guest for you tonight has been making the rounds in Hollywood for a few years, and next week returns to the small screen when Agent: SEAL drops on Paramount, Saturday March first. Please welcome Dominic Teller to the show!”
The crowd, who murmured at the phrase 'making the rounds,' applaud as Dom walks out from the back and up to the host's desk. They shake hands and Dom sits. He's dressed more casually than he usually does for these things, in jeans and a blazer instead of a suit. That has to be on purpose for some bullshit PR reason.
“Thanks for that, Mike.”
“Sure, sure. Now, I'm sure there's one topic that everyone in this room wants me to ask you about...” The crowd cheers, but Dom seems nonplussed. “Buuuut I'm gonna completely ignore that, and ask you to tell me all about this new show of yours.” Dom grins, as the crowd gives a mixed reaction.
“Smart play, really. No one wins bringing that shit up.”
“This is exactly what I expected them to do.”
“Okay, sure. So, I play an ex-SEAL, original, right?” There are a few laughs. “His name is Connor Cross, and his last mission ended pretty catastrophically. He goes to work for the FBI as a special consultant helping root out some domestic terrorists. And I'm gonna be real honest with you guys, Connor is not a nice guy. Or even a good guy, some would say.”
“Not at first, right?”
“Well, I can't give you everything.” He smirks and Mike laughs.
“Well, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that changes in some capacity. He's the protagonist after all.”
“There you go.”
“Okay, so Paramount sent us a clip to share straight from the first episode. Can you set it up for us?”
“Sure. Connor has just caught one of the suspected bad guys, and is holding him in place until one of the feds runs over with the cuffs. Unbeknownst to the feds, but known to the viewers is, the guy is part of Connor's past. So he's a little... hostile.”
Fucking fantastic. At least its not the scene I saw filmed where he threw a woman across the room.
“Alright, let's see it.”
The screen changes to a still of Dom, as Connor, in all black BDUs like the feds wear, holding a guy in a hammerlock. The clip starts, and immediately the bad guy is swung around and banged into a nearby brick wall. This is clearly an outdoor scene. Connor tries to pin him against the wall with his arm across the mans chest and throat, but the man throws a punch into his ribs and ducks, attempting to get away. Without skipping a beat, Connor trips him, kneels next to him at the same time as he hits the ground, then flips him to his back. A police stick appears as Connor holds it across the bad guy's throat.
“Try that again motherf(beep)r, and I promise you will not live to regret it.”
The bad guy nods, and the fed cops arrive. One pulls Connor up as the other bends over to cuff the bad guy. The screen goes black.
Back to the Dom and the host. The crowd applauds. Meanwhile there's a rock in my stomach. I hate that tone in his voice.
“Pretty intense stuff there, pretty intense.”
“That's just the beginning. Like I said, he's not nice.”
“Seems to be a change in direction of roles for you.”
“You could say that, yeah. Some of the other guys I've played their moments, but this guy? Whooo. He's deeply troubled. You'll see.”
“That I will, I plan to binge the whole thing as soon as it drops.” Some applause. “Now, I gotta ask you this, the way you spoke there, that was a much deeper, gravely tone than your speaking voice. Does he talk like that all the time?”
“Nah, only when he's angry. It's an intimidation tactic, that's actually discussed in this episode.”
“How hard was it for you to do that voice?”
“Uh, a little bit the first few tries, but we have a great voice coach and he taught me how to do it without wrecking my throat.” He laughs a little, and Mike grins.
“Good, good. We don't want that. Now you guys wrapped about a month ago, right?”
“That's right.”
“Can you still do it?”
“Probably. I haven't had a reason to try.”
“Well, here's a reason. And you already know this, but we're giving the world some breaking news tonight! Agent: SEAL, before airing one whole episode, has a Season Two order!” The crowd applauds loudly, and Dom nods, indicating that yes, he knew this. I didn't! I sit up a little bit, starting to get angry.
“That's right, Mike. This only just came through in the last few hours, my agent confirmed it to me not long before you went live. I haven't even had a chance to tell my wife yet!” He flicks his eyes towards the camera, and I see the message meant just for me. Sorry.
“Well, surprise to Ms. Lancaster, too! This is great news, and can only boost views on March first.”
“That's what we hope. From what I was told, the critics and test groups ate it up, so they made the order.”
“Let me be the first to say congratulations.”
“Thanks, Mike. Appreciate it.” More applause. I'm sick.
“So.... I'll ask you again. Can you still do the voice?”
“I still don't know.” Dom shrugs. I see what's coming a mile away but I can't move to turn this off.
“Give it a try for us.”
“Oh, I don't know about that, it's been a while.” He laughs a little, trying to get out of it. It looks to me like he didn't know Mike was going to do this.
“Come on! You guys want to hear it, right? We won't laugh if it's rusty. Much.” Mike chuckles. I fucking hate when these vultures put him on the spot like this. But, it's live TV, and if he refuses now Lisa will tear him a new sphincter. Dom sighs, and sits up a little straighter in his chair.
“Okay, okay. Lemme see....” The crowd cheers. Mike sits back, watching and waiting. “Guess I'll try what you just saw, hold on...” He clears his throat a little, then... “Try that again... and I promise you will not live to regret it.” It came out almost exactly the same as the clip, minus the swear word. Dom then shrugs some, and forces an uncomfortable looking laugh. Then he looks directly at the camera, and says, silent, “Sorry.” That was directly to me. I know it.
“Is he talking to you?”
“Yes.”
Mike claps along with the audience. “Sounds like you won't have any trouble at all when it comes to work on Season two.”
“I guess not.”
“Alright, we'll be back in a few minutes, and we'll ask Dominic about-”
I turn the TV off.
“What's wrong?”
“That... was a textbook example of everything I hate about that industry. In fifteen seconds all of it just broadcast to the world.”
“What do you mean?”
I scoff. “You were watching. That guy sprung that on him, he didn't want to do it. He knows I always watch these, and this one was live, and he knows I hate it. But its fucking television and perception and you gotta 'play the role'... so he had to fucking do it. Go into that fucking character and right back out of it, right in front of me. I...” I can't keep going. I don't know why I just spilled all of that to Josh, of all people. He surely doesn't care. It's better for him, isn't it? I lean over, covering my face. Instantly, Josh's hand is on my back, rubbing me gently.
“I'm sorry they made him put you through that.”
“Me too. But it's his job. And there's gonna be more of it.” I honest to deity want to throw up. I can't go through all of this again, for months. “We shouldn't have watched this.”
“You didn't know. What can I do?”
“I don't know.” In response, he just keeps rubbing my back.
What I do know? Amy was right. Listen to my heart and my heart can't do it. I can't do it. I can't deal with this TV/Hollywood bullshit anymore.
I won't.
I just have to make it past the show release and Retribution. Stick with my plan. And then none of that fake, hollow farce will be my problem anymore.
{{ Thursday, February 29
Kenner, LA
Bree's home }}
The night of Dom's TV appearance, Josh did end up not necessarily making me feel better, but at least distracting me, for a while. It wasn't the way I had expected the night to go, but it resolved my internal conflict all the same. Knowing I am certain and having an end date in mind helped me to go on as if everything was normal. I told Dom I watched the show, I told him it pissed me off but I saw his message. He apologized again. Rinse and repeat of so many other times one of his TV spots pulled some bullshit.
The rest of the week, I did my best to go about everything as normally as possible. I claimed my side still hurt from Simon to keep Dom from trying to repeat the other morning. I did pull Amy aside at BOA on Monday and tell her I was sticking to my plan. She hugged me and said to let her know if I needed anything.
Today, classes were good. Josh and I worked with some of the more experienced students showing them a new submission hold. He and I made plans to train all day tomorrow, when BOA would be closed for Retribution prep, instead of just a few hours tonight. So, I am home in the afternoon. Dom is here, his car is parked. I don't see him anywhere when I walk in, though. I bring Heath to the den and put one of the movies he likes on. He lays on the floor on his back to watch it. From the den, I hear Dom's voice, coming from the library. No wonder he didn't hear me come in, it's hard to hear the door from in there. I go down the hall to the library to tell him I'm here, but I hear some of what he's saying, and I stop just behind the half-closed door, where he can't see me if he turned around. The more I hear, the less I can breathe.
“...doesn't believe it, I thought maybe she bought this one, but I fixed it... it's fine for now, just have to be more careful... you know I can't do that, we talked about this... it won't look good right now, with everything that's been put out there already...... the pictures don't exist anymore, Lisa took care if it... yes I'm sure, she threatened federal charges and the woman deleted them.... yes-”
I push the door open and clear my throat. Dom spins around and stares when he sees me. I just stare back, as blank as I can. He puts the phone back to his ear.
“I gotta go... no, I really- yes... Okay.” He taps the screen and tosses his phone to the couch. “I didn't hear you come in.”
“Obviously.” I am far more calm than I should be.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.” He drops his head. “Who was that?”
“If you've been there long enough, then it doesn't really matter...” He looks back up. “Does it?”
“Maybe not. What matters is that you lied to me.” He tries to say something but I talk over him. “You made me ask you a direct question, you looked me in the eyes and you lied to me! And I believed you.” I shake my head, unsure if I'm more disgusted with him or myself.
“I didn't lie, you-”
“Bullshit!” I'm done trying to stay calm. “I just heard you! Talking about those fucking pictures Lisa warned me about and-”
“She told you about that?”
“Yes, but I don't know why if all she did was lie to me about how it went away. I guess I know who's side she's really on, and who you really tell the truth to!”
“Stop, listen to me. I didn't-”
“Yes you did! I fucking asked you and you said no, how is that not a lie?!”
He finally raises his voice back. “Because its not Amanda!”
I blink a few times. He's right. I asked if he was sleeping with Amanda, but it's someone else. He didn't lie. That's why I believed him.
“Oh.”
“I'm sorry.”
I ignore that, I don't care. “More semantics, I see. So who is it?”
“It doesn't matter.”
“Dom. Who. Is. It?” I can't get any more specific than that. I don't know if I even care, I just want a goddamn straight answer. Dom rubs his face a few seconds, and I get it. He's trying to protect her just as much as the article sources were. “You owe me an answer.” Lowering his hand, he sighs, conceding.
“Robin.”
One harsh laugh comes out of me. “I should have guessed that, I suppose. That's why the vultures thought it was Amanda. Because she's her body double.”
“Yeah.”
“You never did actually tell me you saw her in LA, did you?” Dom shakes his head no. “I knew it. I would have remembered that.” I shake my head, turning away for a moment.
“Bree, I-”
“No.” I spin back to face him. “Stop. It doesn't matter. I'm not even mad about that, I can't be. I'm just angry that you couldn't have told me the truth. When the first article came out you could have just told me and spared everyone all of this trouble!”
“I didn't say anything because I ended it.” I raise my brow. “Or, I tried to.”
“You tried. Okay. I get that. But-”
“Wait, hold on. You said you can't be mad. Why? What does that mean? Honestly every variation of this conversation that went through my head involved a lot more yelling and throwing things.”
I didn't think he'd notice I said that. “This isn't how I wanted to do this...” I said mostly to myself. All of this was going wrong.
“Do what?”
Fuck it. Fuck the plan. It just blew up. “I almost told you last week. When we fought and I left? But I wanted to stick to my plan. I had it all figured out. I wanted to let your show drop without anything else taking attention away from it, without distracting you. But there's no point in waiting now.”
“Bree. What the fuck are you talking about? Tell me what?”
Part of me thought maybe he already knew. Or suspected. But I see now that he's completely oblivious. I'd feel bad for him if I wasn't angry about all the time he wasted. I make myself speak in concrete terms, even though it's hard, because there have been enough misinterpretations.
“I can't be mad at you for sleeping with her, because... I've been sleeping with someone else, too.”
Dom just stares at me, as if what I said didn't make sense. Then he makes a face, shaking his head.
“What? You? Come on, since when?”
I know what he means, since when would I be the kind of person to that. But the answer to that and the literal 'since when' is the same. “November.”
“Novem.... wait, you're serious? You're not just trying to fuck with me because-”
“Do you really think that I would say something like that if it wasn't the truth?”
I see it sink in, and he sits on the couch, slowly. “You are serious.”
“Yes, I am. You even said you thought I'd been distant, too. I'm telling you why.” I haven't moved out of the doorway since I cleared my throat, but now I step in and lean on the door frame, crossing my arms.
“Unbelievable....” I watch as he looks me up and down, a small shake of his head at the end. I can tell he wants to be mad, but realizes he can't be. Just like me. “Who?”
“Does it really matter?” I can almost feel the sarcasm dripping off my tongue.
Dom sighs. “Okay... I deserved that. But I did answer you.”
“I have every intention of telling you, I was just making a point.”
“Point made. Who is it?”
“Josh.” The rcok that's been living in my stomach for weeks just disentigrated.
“Hm. Wouldn't have been my guess... but makes perfect sense, actually.” Another head shake. I don't want to know what his guess was. “Extra training, right?”Now he's dripping in sarcasm, too.
“Yes, that was a real thing. You've seen how I've gotten better at some holds. That's all it was supposed to be, but...” I shrug.
“Right. So... last week. You didn't really go to Amy's, did you?”
“No.”
“And she covered for you.”
“Yes. She has been since she knew.”
Dom seems at a loss for words for a few moments, then he puts his hands up, almost helplessly.
“What are we doing here, Bree?”
“Failing. That's what we're doing, we're failing.” I'm tired of standing, and take the chair across from him. “We have a fundamentally different view on what you get paid to do, and I don't think we can get past it.”
“We are not both fucking around because of my job.”
“Aren't we? I can't stand watching you switch in and out of a character, if you even switch at all... you don't even notice when you haven't. And you're tired of me constantly questioning you. Remember a few weeks ago, you asked me if this was always going to be a problem for us? Yes. It will. It always has been. We tried to ignore it, or work around it, or fix it. But we can't.”
“Bree-”
“And now you're doing another season? No. I can't. I can't do that again.”
“Do you want me to quit? I'll quit.”
“You can't just quit, you have a contract. And anyway-”
“I'll buy it out. I can afford it.” I shake my head no halfway through his words.
“No. I can't let you do that. It's touching that you're willing to, but I won't let you give up everything you worked for years to get to. It might sound like the answer now, but eventually you'd resent me for it. And I can't live with that.”
“So what are we supposed to do from here?”
“Acknowledge that we tried, admit it didn't work, and cut our losses. Move on.”
“Move on? You really want to just give up?”
“Are you kidding? Look at us, we already have. This is what I've been planning to tell you. I'm done. I'm sorry, but I can't do it anymore.”
“Been planning? Before today?”
“I was done weeks ago. I was just waiting for the right time to say so. This is already over, it's been over. We just need to admit it and accept it.”
“It doesn't matter what I accept or not, does it? You've decided you're out, so that effectively ends it there.” He leans back, one hand over his forehead, as if he has a headache.
“You can't make me believe that you honestly think this his fixable. I mean, look what we did. You gave your attention to someone who works in your industry and understands it, and you, I suppose, in a way I never will. I gave mine to someone who's never pretended to be anything other than what he is, for any reason.”
Sitting back up, Dom gives me a look that tells me he's starting to understand.
“I can't really argue with that, can I?”
“Actions tell the truth louder than words.”
“And the truth always wins, right?” He gives me a sarcastic grin, that's gone in a second. “So that's it, then? We're done?”
“Yeah. We are.” My emotions finally catch up to me, and I blink hard to hold it in.
“Okay.”
“I'm sorry.”
“So am I. We probably should have never done this at all.”
“Maybe not.”
Sitting up, Dom leans forward, his hands fidgety. “What about Heath?”
“What about him? He's your son, that doesn't change. We don't need to make this difficult or ugly. I don't want it to be. It's not that we don't love each other... we just couldn't make that be enough.”
“Yeah. You're right. I know you are.” With a deep breath, he gets to his feet. “I think it's probably a good idea if I get out of here.” He starts to walk out. I get to my feet to stop him.
“You don't have to do that immediately, we-”
“I just mean for the tonight. Give us each some breathing room.”
“Oh. Okay, that's fair. Can I ask where you're going?”
“Do you have to ask?”
I look down, my arms crossed. “No, I suppose I don't.” I remembered a conversation with Robin at the show screening where she said she managed to get a condo in the same complex as she was in a few years ago, just a different unit. It's on the outskirts of the Garden District, not far from my old house on Carondelet Street.
“When I come back tomorrow, I'll move my things across the hall.” He means from our bedroom to the guest room.
“Okay.”
I thought he'd say something else, but I feel the air move as he walks past me through the door. A small sound makes me look up, and I immediately see what made the sound. He'd set his ring on the bookshelf near the door. That's what he was doing with his hands. Well, it could stay there. I hear him going upstairs, likely to get an overnight bag.
Forcing myself to take a slow, deep breath, I go into the den, where Heath is still quietly watching Onward. I sit in my usual place on the couch, the end near the window. Pulling my phone out, I send a text to Josh.
[“He knows. We're done.”]
He replies almost immediately.
[“What, how? Can you talk?”]
[“I told him. Can talk & explain soon. He's leaving.”]
[“For good?”]
[“For the night.”]
[“I'm coming to you.”]
ON CAMERA
Looks like it's just you and me this time, Autumn.
Some people might be upset if they were in my position. I mean, you didn't do anything to earn a place in the triple threat where I became Adrenaline Champion, and you couldn't stop me from pinning Alistaire, or get a pinfall yourself. Some people... would point you to the back of the line.
But I am not most people.
I am not upset with you for calling your shot. I can't be, because if I were you? I would have done the same thing. In fact, I have done the same thing. So I get it. I understand how frustrating it is to have a championship snatched out of your reach when you're not involved in the decision. The question always lingers.
Who is truly the better fighter?
Everyone knows that at Body, Heart, and Soul it was not you that I pinned to become Adrenaline Champion. I pinned the champion, and walked out with the gold. You didn't get the chance to see if you could beat him, or me.
At Retribution... we'll find out the truth. With no one else involved and just the two of us standing face to face, who is the better fighter?
Don't worry, babe, this isn't the part where I tear you down and try to make it sound like you're a shit wrestler and don't deserve to lace my boots. First of all, I can lace my own boots. But more importantly, if I said anything of the sort, I would be telling lies. And as you know, I do not tell lies. At least, I try my best not to. Sometimes even the best of us can take a detour while following the light of truth. Either we were misled ourselves and repeat the falsehoods out of pure ignorance... or maybe we get swayed by another light, down another path, that looks brighter than the one we're following. And while you stand there at the fork in the road, trying to decide which is the right path, the true path to follow... some misinformation may be spoken, out of self-preservation.
The important thing though, is how you handle yourself once you realize what you've done, and what steps you take to correct it.
You may be thinking that none of this sounds like it has anything to do with Autumn Valentine or the Adrenaline Championship. And, maybe there is a thread in there of something else, but I promise you it's very relevant to both Autumn and this match. You see... Autumn? You have been inadvertently telling lies.
You've called yourself the Allocco Assassin, and now the Adrenaline Assassin which besides being lies, are contradictions. The first insinuates you're going to defeat Allocco, and the second insinuates that you're going to defeat the rest of the Adrenaline division. Thing is though... you've done neither. I pinned Allocco, and so far, you haven't beaten anyone that has anything to do with this championship.
What is the truth?
The only assassin you are, babe, is to your own career. It's actually quite sad to see how far you've fallen. Just two years ago, you became the longest reigning Television Champion of all time. You took some time off, I'm not sure if it was just a break or you were hurt, it's not my business and it's besides the point. But you eventually agreed to allow yourself to be managed by Lexy Chapel... and sweetie? She's leading you the wrong way.
I won't talk about things from before your recent return because that's not relevant to us, but let's look at what's happened for you since you came back this time. Lexy talked you into replacing Syren in the rematch she should have had for the Adrenaline Championship, despite the fact rematches don't and have never worked that way. They aren't Trios contracts, you can't just give them away if you want. But you bought into it, you went along with the ridiculous nicknames, and you eventually allowed yourself to believe that you did deserve to take the spot Syren gave up, and that you can live up to those nicknames and become Adrenaline Champion.
As good as I know you can be, and as good as you have been in the past, the truth is that you just aren't at that level at this point in time. You can be again, if you took the right steps, going out on your own again. Instead of listening to the poison words being whispered into your ear by that insufferable woman. I think that deep down, you know it, too. She tried to get you to cheat a few weeks ago! Encouraged you to swing a chair at your opponent. When that failed, she wanted you to make them hit you, to cause a DQ. It's a... more backwards way of cheating, but it's still cheating. I mean, everyone here knows the things I've done here over the years, I know cheating when I see it. And probably forgot more cheap tricks than you or Lexy even know. Anyway, point is... you refused, babe. You told Lexy no and did things your way, what you considered to be the right way.
All you have to do babe is take that a step further. Tell yourself that you don't have to keep listening to this madness. You don't have to constantly defend your side against someone who wants you to do things you aren't comfortable with. You don't have to let that person continue to use you for their own personal gain, their own professional perception. Because that's all Lexy is doing, Autumn. She doesn't push you to win for you. She pushes you to win for her. To prove herself as a manager. Look how she's pushing Syren. And Dark Fantasy. She wants Lexycorp or Lexy's World, or whatever she's calling it these days, to hold all the championships. Just so that she can claim that she is the one who led you all there.
You are better than to let someone else take credit for your hard work. And right now, with the way you're letting her run all over you and run your career, if you were to find a way to beat me and become Adrenaline Champion? The nickname Adrenaline Assassin would then be accurate... because you would be assassinating the reputation and credibility.
I can't let that happen, Autumn. This championship means too much to me for me to allow it. It's my reason for showing up to work, my reason for training week in and week out, putting in extra sessions to ensure I keep my skills sharp while improving the ones that need sharpening. It's my reason for agreeing to fight anyone who steps up to me, to prove myself over and over again, because a fighter is only as good as their last match. Being Adrenaline Champion isn't just an accomplishment for me.
It's a responsibility.
It's up to me to ensure that anyone who challenges me either rises to the occasion and proves themselves in a truthful way, and to put down those who aren't in this for the right reasons, or are going about it the wrong way. It's my responsibility to not only carry this championship with honor, but also to protect it from those who would damage it's prestige.
Autumn, it's time for you to face a truth you may not want to look in the eye. As good as you are, as good as you have been, and as good as we all know you can be? Right now... you just aren't good enough for this championship.
I'm sorry if that hurts to hear, but it needed to be said. You need to hear it, so that you can take the steps necessary to correct it.
You're standing at that fork in the road right now, Autumn. One lit by the light of truth, the other shining with a golden glow. That path seems shorter, and this championship is at the end f it. You can see it, can't you?
I'll tell you a secret about that golden glow. It's just a reflection. And it's up to you to decide if you want to follow the illusion of greatness, or turn to the path of the light of truth and find true fulfillment and satisfaction at the end.
I'll leave you with this. Sometimes the worst lies we tell are the ones we tell to ourselves. But no matter who is telling the lies, or how much you want to believe them.... the truth always wins.
Lux Veritatis makes it so.