Apocalypse 2023
I said I would explain everything once I wrapped my head around it. Well... I'm still processing and dealing with it, but maybe talking about it will help. So, here we go. SCW break after Rise to Greatness, and how everything in my life was changed – again.
July 31
New York City
Ante Up: NYC
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By the time Tommy and I were ready to visit the NYC Ante Up location, the stitches over my eye were ready to come out. I'll probably always have a scar, but I'm okay with that. It's a forever reminder of the night I did what almost no one thought I could do.
We got to New York early on a Monday, checked into the hotel to unload our luggage, then went straight to the gym. Over a year go, pushing two years. I had come here to hire a new manager. Tommy gave the task to me because he trusted my judgment. I hired Micah Hart, a walking sex advertisement. In fact, after hiring him he'd helped me paint over a giant mural in the gym and during a break I found out that he didn't just look like sex, but he was fucking good at it, too. Micah was still the manager here, and I was looking forward to seeing him again. I hadn't been back here since that week I came to make the hire, but Tommy had visited every now and then just to make sure they knew they were valued as a part of the Ante Up brand.
Tommy and I walked into the gym and the very first thing I saw, was Micah's ass. He was squatting in one of the rings, looked like he was doing some pre-workout stretching.
“Good form, there.”
Micah stood up and spun around, then smiled when he saw us. “Tommy... I see you finally convinced your wife to visit us again.”
“Good to see you too, Micah.” I smirked. Micah slid out of the ring and came over to greet us. He and Tommy shook hands, then he offered his hand to me. I took it, smiling.
“In all seriousness, it is good to see you again. I know you're pretty busy these days, Champ.” He grinned. “Big congrats, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“We had a watch party here and I swear it sounded like a full arena when the three came down.”
“Thanks for the support.”
“Hey, you guys pay me to do what I love. Biggest supporter right here.”
Tommy smirked. “Hey, that's my job." Both men laughed. "Speaking of the job.... we're not really here just for a social visit. Since Kandis has some time off during SCW's break, I thought we'd come in and check up on things. Maybe give a few seminars.”
Micah smiled. “That would be fantastic! Short notice... but I'm sure it would be well attended.”
“Glad you like the idea. We'll make some signs and post them today. We should work out the best times to hold them. I'm thinking three.”
“Morning, afternoon, and evening would be my suggestion. So everyone has a chance to make at least one.”
“Great idea.”
“I knew I hired you for a reason.” I grinned.
“Tell you what, I'll let the two of you work out the schedule. I'll take a walk around and check out the equipment.”
“Sounds good.”
Tommy gave us a smile and walked off towards the weights.
I gave my attention to Micah. “So. Schedule? It's probably way too last minute to do anything later today. How about Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday?”
“You read my mind.”
“Oh yeah? Maybe you can read mine.” I gave him a slow look up and down, with my best subtle yet sultry grin. Micah grinned back, but took a step backwards.
“Loud and clear. As fun as I know that would be, I don't think my fiancee would approve.”
Shit. “Oh. Understood. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. I hope you're not upset.”
“Nah. Why would I be? I'm happy for you.” I meant it. I'm not about to try to mess with anyone's relationship. Micah smiled again.
“Thanks. So, should we go to my office and check the calendar for your seminars?”
“Sure.”
I followed Micah to the office, trying not to stare at his ass. No point in getting worked up over something you can't have, right? We confirmed the schedule, and made the signs Tommy had suggested. As soon as we started posting them, people were signing up. This was gonna be fun.
August 2
New York City
Ante Up: NYC
--------------------
It was morning the day of the first seminar Tommy and I were doing. We had discussed doing a joint one, and two separate ones, but decided that wouldn't be fair to those who couldn't come to all three. We were set to start at ten, so we had about fifteen minutes to kill. Tommy and I got in the ring we were using for the event, and ran some warm up drills. His shoulder has recovered from the accident last year as much as it's going to, according to the doctor. If Tommy wanted to get clearance to go back to the ring, he'd sign off on it, as long as Tommy understood there were some limitations. Like not trying to lift and throw large motherfuckers. Tommy though has been happy doing what he's doing with the Academy and supporting me. He may join me one day, he may not. That's not what's important right now. Right now, we needed to be ready and loose for when we started working with whoever showed up today.
After everyone who was coming had arrived – it looked like about fifteen people but I didn't actually count – we had everyone sit in chairs at ringside, while Tommy and me sat on the ring apron.
“Alright, I guess this is everyone for today? Great. Firstly, thank you all for showing up. This was kind of a spur of the moment idea, last minute for you guys to come, so we appreciate the fact that you may have had to rearrange some things to be here. Thanks for that.” Heads in the crowd nodded. Tommy glanced at me.
“I'll say thanks too. And just so y'all know, while I do lead classes at the Academy in LA, I've never done one of these kinds of things, so be gentle with me.” I heard a few laughs.
“Or else.” Tommy glared for a half second before he chuckled. The crowd laughed. “Okay then. I'll start off with a few words for you guys, then Kandis will give you a piece of her mind... and we'll let you ask some questions before we get into the ring. Sound good?” Every head nodded. “Fantastic. So first of all, since I know it'll probably be the first thing asked I'll get it out of the way now. I do not currently have any plans to make a return, but it's not off the table for the future.” There were more nods. “There, now we can talk about other things. I'm assuming that everyone here is here because you're interested in going further into wrestling, maybe getting signed somewhere?” Most of the heads nodded. “Great, the business always needs new and hungry talent to jump in. I personally thank you for choosing Ante Up as your place to learn. If and when opportunities come up for any of you, I'll be more than happy to help you out, offer personal advice. Just get with Micah and he'll get you in contact with me.”
“I'm not nearly as experienced as Tommy here, but that offer goes for me, too. Especially to the women, we have a different road in this business than men do.” Every female head nodded, and I heard one 'yeah!'.
“With that said, I won't speak too much, I'm not a wordy motherfucker like some people in this business, so I'll just offer you some blanket advice, that others might not think to share. First and foremost. When you travel, be sure to always have some cash on your person. You never know if you'll lose a card, or it might get hacked, or somewhere you're going has technical issues... or any number of reasons why an electronic transaction wouldn't be in anyone's best interests... if you understand my meaning.” Tommy lowered his chin a bit and looked down his nose. I heard a few snickers. Yeah, everyone in wrestling knows that under the table deals are necessary on occasion. “And if you can, make sure it's more than twenty. At least a hundred, because you never know what can come up. This might sound crazy, but I can't tell you how many times having a wad of cash handy saved my ass.”
The crowd laughed. “Hey, you laugh, but I was there for at least two of them, and he's not exaggerating. On the road, shit happens.”
“A lot of shit. That leads me to my second piece of advice. There is a lot of shit on the road and in locker rooms. Shit talk, shit slinging, shit stirring. Do your best to avoid it... and keep your own shit to yourself. Am I making sense?” Heads nodded, and a few people said yes, yeah, yup. Some version of agreement. “Good. Finally, my last bit of advice, and I can't stress this enough. Take. Care. Of. Your. Body. If you're hurt, rest. Let it heal. Missing time sucks, but taking years off your career because you couldn't wait two more weeks sucks even more. You can always learn new skills, find new partners, get new gear, change up your look, gimmick, whatever. But you only have one body. It's what's going to make you money, it's your most valuable asset. Protect it.”
The group nodded again, this time slower, almost somber, it seemed they were really taking in how important what Tommy said was. Maybe they saw through him like I did and understood he was somewhat talking about himself. Early in his career he was a huge risk taker. Not that he still isn't, or wasn't before he got hurt. But being sidelined so long apparently got into his head.
“Okay. That's all I got for you. Kandis?”
I looked at Tommy, then the group. “Okay. Well, I'd echo the take care of your body thing. Not necessarily in the same way Tommy means it, though. Sure, keep yourself healthy. But to make the most money, you have to look your best, too. Find a look you like, that gets you noticed, and ride that bitch to the bank.” I patted my hip with one hand, and the group laughed. “You laugh, and I know my whole 'shake my ass' thing gets played up as a joke or comedy sometimes, but it's my thing, you know? Everyone knows Kandis is the bitch with the big ass, right? Gotta look at her! But once the eyes are on me... they see everything else. This big ass can kick your ass. So that's another thing I'd tell you. Get yourself a thing. If you don't have something to make you stand out, you're going to get lost in the sea of conformity.” Everyone looked around at each other again. I bet they were wondering if they stood out from everyone else. From my view, no one did. But they weren't here for TV, so I really couldn't judge. “I'm not gonna talk your ears off either, I know you're probably here for the actual training part. So I just have one more piece of advice for you. No matter how busy you get, how hard you need to train, how big you might get... don't neglect your family.” Every pair of eyes went wide. “I know, that sounds insane coming from me, everyone knows I grew up without one. But that's why I'm stressing this. I didn't have any family at all as a kid. Not until I was around fourteen. And I didn't really feel like part of them until a few years later. I hated the way I grew up, I hated everything about my past, I even hated my name. I waited way too long to try to find any real relatives. Once I did... they accepted me. It wasn't always easy, there were fights. But eventually, I had two families. Now...” I glanced at Tommy and smiled. “I kinda have three. My point is, don't ignore them in favor of advancing your career. One day you'll be done with this. Either you give up, or have to quit for medical reasons, or maybe you'll go on to have a twenty-year legendary career... but everyone eventually gets broken down enough to retire. And you don't want to have to play catch up, like I did, because I waited to try to find them. The worst thing in the world is to run out of time.”
“You lost someone...” For the first time, someone in the group spoke. I turned towards the female voice. The girl looked legitimately upset for me.
“I did. I had a little bit of time, but not enough. I know I'm not a whole lot older than most of you, but you all have more time left than I do. In wrestling, in life. Don't waste it. That's all I'm saying. Don't waste time.”
After I dragged the mood down, Tommy changed the tone of things by opening up the floor for questions. No one asked anything super personal or out of left field. I half-expected to be asked about my video leak, but maybe Micah had warned them not to. I wouldn't have minded. We then spent about two hours in the ring with them, we had decided to show off some tag moves and teach them how to do a few. A lot of Academy's don't focus on that much and we, obviously, feel it's important to learn and be skilled in.
After the training was over, the girl who had spoken out during my 'don't waste time' spiel half-jogged up to me as I was about to head to the locker room. I stopped when I saw her coming.
“Kandis, do you have a minute?”
“Sure. What can I help you with?”
“Nothing, really. I just wanted to say something. Your thing about time? It hit me hard, because I know exactly what you mean. I got into training young, I was nineteen. I'm twenty-six now. The last few years I've started to take it more seriously. I've had a few bookings around the local indies, getting some calls even, instead me having to call asking to be on shows. The last one I did, it was upstate. Three hours away. On my mom's birthday. She was having a party, and even though she said she was okay with me taking the booking and missing her party, I knew she was upset about it. But she insisted she would be more upset if I didn't go, just because of her. So, I went. I won, I got paid extra for winning. I planned to get Mom a really nice gift, a pendant she'd had her eye on. I was at the jewelry store about to buy it when my brother called me. Mom had a heart attack out of nowhere and dropped dead standing at the sink doing dishes.”
“Shit... I'm so sorry.”
“And all I could think was... I missed her party. You said you lost someone. It was your mom, wasn't it? Your real one.”
I blinked at her. “How... how could you know that?” She shrugged.
“Only that particular loss gives people that look in their eyes. I'm sorry you didn't get to know her as long as you wanted. I had my whole life with mine and it wasn't enough. I can't imagine being in your place. You have a strength I wish I had. It's honestly inspiring.”
This little bitch was gonna make me cry. In front of people. “That means a lot to me, thank you. But... and look, maybe don't let this get around, cause I'm really not supposed to be a mushy type. But you're wrong. You do have strength. Everyone does. You just have to learn how to dig it out and use it. Coming up to me like this and saying what you said... that took strength. I respect that.”
She smiled. “Thank you. I just... knew it was the same thing as me, if that makes sense.”
“It does. What's your name?”
“Lydia Monroe. I go by Sparkle in ring.”
“I'll remember that. And when you make it, I'll cheer for you.”
“Thank you.” She smiled again, bigger. Fuck. I gestured for a hug, and she took it. We embraced for a few moments, and when she stepped back, her eyes were red. Goddammit, mine probably were too.
“Hey, do me a favor. Don't tell anyone. About my mother. I've kept that part of my life very protected, to protect them.”
“Oh, I would never. It's your business. And you've had enough breach of privacy anyway.” Lydia grinned. I laughed, dry.
“Yeah, no shit.” We both laughed.
“Well, I just wanted to say that. I won't take up any more of your time.”
“You train here regularly?” Lydia nodded. “Maybe I'll have to come help out, like the one guy asked about.”
“I'd like that. I should go. Thanks again.” Lydia smiled and walked off, to the showers.
Okay. So not only did people suddenly love me since I took the championship from Selena, but now I was inspiring? I don't know how the hell any of this happened, and I don't know how to handle it. I'd never been the popular one, the chosen one, the favorite. And I'm not even gonna get into the fact this chick just plucked from my expression that it was not having time with my mom that inspired me to say what I said. Maybe she was right, and it's so specific a type of pain that like recognizes like. She was sweet. I hope she makes it big.
August 7
Lafayette, Indiana
Indiana Trade Bank
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The rest of the week in New York went well. The other two seminars Tommy and I did were just as good as the first, and Lydia Monroe attended both. She has real skills and I don't just hope she makes it, I know she will.
We left New York Saturday morning, and landed in Lafayette, Indiana Saturday afternoon. After getting settled in the hotel I had booked until Tuesday, we rented a car and just drove around. I had only been to this city once before, a few years ago when I came the courthouse and library looking for information about my family. I didn't really go wandering around. But since we had a weekend to ourselves here, I thought it would be cool to go around the city my family was from. As far as I could tell, there wasn't much tourist-y things around, but I wasn't interested in that, anyway. We drove by school I knew Mom and Corey went to, Jefferson High. Weent past Purdue University. Walked around at Tippecanoe mall. Bought some shit we don't need, as you do at malls. Had lunch at a hole in the wall restaurant that had the best cheeseburger I've ever had in my life. Then went to dinner at a more upscale place, where the steak was perfectly cooked and the house wine was amazing. Sunday there was only one thing I wanted to do... find the park Gail had told me about. Obviously, she always loved parks. We ended up at Highland Park, and spent most of the day there. I could see why the place gave her a love of them.
Monday morning I had an appointment at the bank where the safe deposit box was located. It's a local, stand-alone branch, called Indiana Trade Bank. Using the state name, you'd think there were more, but nope. Just this one.
Tommy and I walked in, and immediately I felt like I time traveled back about fifty years. The floor was brick, all of the counters were dark polished wood, and the main lighting overhead was a large chandelier with probably hundreds of tiny crystals hanging from the ironwork under the dozen lights. I'd never seen a bank like this in real life, only in movies. I didn't think any like this still existed. We walked up to an open booth and an older lady gave me a polite smile.
“Good morning, how may I help you?”
“Hi, I have an appointment to meet with Mr. Harrison, about a safe deposit box.”
The woman's face lit up, surprising me. “Oh! You must be Carla's daughter!”
“Yeah... Kandis P- Valentine. This is my husband Tommy.” I couldn't believe I almost spoke my old name. I saw Tommy look at me oddly, he caught it too, but gave the woman a polite smile.
“I'm Susan, it's very nice to meet you. We've heard a little about you.” She squinted at me, then smiled again. “Yes. I can see you're from her.”
“I have some old pictures my uncle gave me. It's kinda creepy.”
“I imagine it would be. I'll just get Mr. Harrison for you. Excuse me.”
Susan got up from her chair and disappeared behind a partition. I turned to Tommy. “This city has almost a hundred thousand people, how can everyone know everyone?”
“If her family banked here, they'd know her.” Tommy shrugged.
“Oh... yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. That old lady has probably worked here here whole life.”
“Probably. So... what was that with your name?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea. All of this is fucking with me, hard.”
“Are you sure you want to do this today? We can go home and come back another time.”
My hand rubbed the back pocket of my jeans, where I had the key to the box. “No... no. I'm already here, I don't want to go through this twice. Let's just get it over with.”
Tommy nodded, then gestured to the counter. I turned, and Susan had returned, with a middle-aged man behind her. When he saw me, he smiled and stepped forward.
“Hello there! Kandis, yes?” I nodded and reached across the counter to shake his hand. “Good, good. I'm glad you're here. Please, come around there.” He points to the end of the counter, where there is a half door, the height of the counter. I heard a buzz, one of them must have pressed an access button. We went through the door and followed Mr. Harrison behind the partition Susan had gone behind earlier. It led to a workstation, then a hallway, which he led us down. I saw a door with his name on it, clearly his office. We kept going, to the end of the hall. The door had a keypad lock on it.
“The deposit boxes are kept through here. Give me a moment, I rarely go into here.” He pulled a small paper out of his shirt pocket, then pressed a series of numbers into the keypad. It seemed like eight or ten digits, not the four you might expect for a key code. The lock buzzed, and he opened the door. “Ah, got it first try!” He smiled proudly. “Follow please.”
We followed, and this hallway went deeper than I thought the building had looked from outside. There were doors on either side, all with keypad locks, and numbers on the doors. Mr Harrison checked the door numbers, then stopped in front of one marked 15. “Here we are, your box will be in this room. I should ask, do you have your key?”
“Yeah, I have it.” I reached into my back pocket and pulled it out. It's on an SCW keychain.
“Good. Here we go.” This time he pressed the code in confidently, it was shorter than the first one. The door opened, and we walked into the strangest room I think I've ever seen. All three walls were lined with metal drawers, and there was a table in the middle. Some drawers were thin, some deep, all with key locks, and numbered. I looked down at the key in my hand and for the first time looked close at it. There was a number engraved, 1528. I looked around the room, all the numbers started with 15. It was room 15, duh Kandis. Mr. Harrison looked around for a moment, then snapped his fingers.
“Ah! Here you are.” He pointed to a drawer on the back wall at about waist height. It had the same number as my key. “I'll just step aside here in a moment, but first, I should tell you something.”
“Okay...?”
“I saw your Uncle, Corey, recently. He came here about the bank account and this box.”
“What? When?”
“Several weeks ago. He said he'd just visited with his sister, your mother.” Mr. Harrison smiled.
“I was so happy to hear he'd found Carla after all this time. I knew her years ago, we went to the same school. Corey told me the story. What happened to her, about you. It's the stuff of movies.”
“It might sound that way, but my life wasn't a great experience until a few years ago.”
Mr. Harrison looked down a moment, rebuked. “Yes, of course. I meant no offense. I'm just amazed at it all. Anyway, Corey came here to settle some business about the bank account you inherited. He had paperwork that removed him from the account, so that once Carla was no longer with us, it would only go to you.”
“Yeah, the lawyer explained that to me.”
“But, before that was finalized, Corey still had access to this box, as well. He had the key, asked to open the box. To be honest I had forgotten the Destrehans had the box, it had been decades since anyone accessed it.”
“I don't understand, why would he come here and open it, if Mom wanted everything inside to go to me? Did he take anything out?” Maybe there had been something inside that Mom didn't want me to see, and she asked him to take it.
“He said he needed to check something, and left an envelope inside. As far as I could tell, he didn't take anything.” Okay, maybe not.
“An envelope? Like a letter?” Tommy with the important question. Mr. Harrison stepped back, out of the way my drawer. He gestured to it with one hand.
“Find out.”
I almost laughed at the phrase. Uncle Corey had fucked around in here, right? I stepped up and slid the key in, and it opened easily. The drawer was one of the mid-sized ones, and as I pulled it out, I realized the entire thing was metal, and much heavier than I thought.
“Just set it here on the table.”
I got a good grip and pulled it all the way out, turned around and put it on the table. It had a lid, but there was no lock on it. I guess after you went through two doors and the key, there was no need at this point. I put my hand on the tiny handle, but stopped. I looked up across the table at Tommy.
“You okay?”
“I don't know. I have a bad feeling that whatever is in here is gonna fuck everything up again.”
“Do you want me to open it?”
Mr. Harrison cleared his throat. “I, uh... actually don't think that's-”
“He's my husband and I'm right here! I say he can open it.” Mr. Harrison sighed, and nodded once.
“Very well.”
I removed my hand, and Tommy came around to my side of the table. He glanced at me, I nodded. To me touching the thing felt like my hand was on Pandoras's box, but Tommy flipped the lid up like it was nothing. I leaned over and peered inside. It was barely a quarter full, mostly a stack of papers, two small boxes, and the envelope Mr. Harrison had said Corey left inside.
“Well?”
I took a deep breath, and reached inside. The first thing I pulled out was the envelope. It was sealed, Looking closely at it, I saw my name written very small in the upper corner, where you'd usually write the return address.
“This is definitely for me.” I set it aside and took out the two boxes, they looked jewelry-sized. I set them aside too, and grabbed the rest of the papers. They turned out to be a few large and tattered envelopes, legal sized. One was folded and looked the oldest, so I opened that one first. Inside was a handful of old pictures. As I flipped through them, I realized I already had copies of a few of them. Uncle Corey had given me some the first time I met him. The rest were school pictures of Mom for every year, followed by a slightly larger graduation one. That one in particular really resembled me. Or I resembled. Whatever way it goes. Tommy nudged me and made a surprised face at the picture.
“I know, right? Fucking creepy.”
I looked through the rest, some more candid shots, it looked like with some of her school friends. I put the pictures back in their envelope and put it aside. Next, a folder. Inside was Mom's birth certificate, a copy of her driver's license that expired in 1982, her high school diploma, and a church baptism record. It's hilarious to me than anyone would think that was important enough to lock up. Mom must have been a very different person before she left this city. Setting all of that aside, I grabbed one of the small boxes. I was right, it was a jewelry box. Inside was Mom's high school senior ring. The silver ring hand a single red stone, which as I learned when we drove by the school over the weekend, was one of the school colors. It had 'Carla' on one side, and JHS on the other.
Putting that down, Tommy handed me the other box. Inside was more jewelry. There was n foam thingy that pieces are typically set in, the items were just loose in the box. I pulled out a gold ring, with three small emeralds. Mom's birthday was in May, it was her birthstone. Something urged me to try it on, and it fit on my pinky finger, next to my wedding ring.
I left it there, and pulled out the other item, a delicate silver necklace chain, with a heart-shaped pendant. It looked exactly like something a high school girl would wear, and I wondered if a boyfriend gave it to her. I put the necklace back in the box, and as I stuffed the other papers back into their folder, I glanced into the box, then up at Mr. Harrison.
“Is that all?”
“It appears so.”
“And Uncle Corey didn't take anything out?”
“If he did, it must have been very small. I didn't see him take anything.”
I just nodded, and flipped the lid to the drawer closed. I misjudged it's weight and it slammed shut.
“Sorry.”
“Will you be needing to keep the box?”
“No, I'm gonna take all of this with me. Do I need to sign anything to close the box rental?”
“Yes. We'll have to go to my office. And I'll need the key.”
The fuck he would. “Uh... this might sound weird, but is there any way I can keep it?”
Mr. Harrison thought it over a bit. “Well, I suppose we could treat it as a lost key, and charge you to have the box rekeyed.”
“Done. Whatever it costs, I don't care. Mom carried this key with her across the country, kept it through being homeless for years and all the way up to the day she gave it to Uncle Corey for me. I can't give it to you.”
Mr. Harrison smiled. “I understand. We'll do that paperwork as well. Are you done here?”
“Yeah, let me just gather all this up, baby can you put those boxes in your pocket? Mine aren't big enough.” Fucking fashion not giving women's clothes decent pockets.
“Yeah, sure.” He grabbed the boxes and stuffed both into one pocked. I'm jealous of those fucking pockets. “Aren't you gonna read the letter?”
“Not here.”
We took care of all the paperwork with Mr. Harrison. The fee for rekeying the box so I could keep Mom's key - $100 fucking dollars. But worth it. And the forms to close the box account. I thanked Mr. Harrison for all of his help, and we left. I had no reason to ever come back here, and I think I'm gonna miss the fancy bank lobby. If I hadn't thought they would tell me to stop, I would have taken some pictures.
* * * * *
Back at our hotel, I tucked all of the paperwork and envelopes into the zipper compartment in the lid of my suitcase... except for the letter. I sat at the table, just holding it in my hands and staring at it.
“Are you testing your psychic abilities, or are you just not ever going to read it?”
“Is it insane to be afraid of a piece of paper?”
“In this case? Not at all.” Tommy sat across from me at the table, setting a beer down for me. I looked up and smiled a thanks. He had one too. “Do you want me to read it first?”
“No. The box was different. I have to do this.” I opened the beer and had a deep drink.
“Okay.” He sipped his beer, and I looked at the envelope in my hands again. All of a sudden I was angry at myself.
“I'm being fucking ridiculous.” I ripped the seal open and pulled the paper out. It was a printed letter, rather long. The bottom was signed "Mom." I didn't think that bode well for me. I had some more beer, then started to read....
Kandis,
I'll be gone by the time you read this, and I'm going to start with an apology. I am sorry that I couldn't bring myself to tell you myself everything you're about to read. I can't bear the thought of how angry you might be, or how you might look at me after. I know, it's cowardly, but I'd rather die a coward than knowing if you hated me or not. Regardless, you deserve to know the truth.
I've always told everyone, since the day I found out I was pregnant with you, that I didn't know who your father was, that it was someone who assaulted me in the dark and I couldn't see his face. That is not the truth. The truth is... I know exactly who he is.
I met him when I still trying to become an actress. I hadn't lost my apartment yet, and he visited me quite often, but I never went to his place. I learned that was because he had a girlfriend. Being young and dumb, I didn't care. I saw him on and off for over a year. Things got hard, I lost my place. He tried to help me as much as he could, but he'd married the girlfriend and she didn't know about me. The last time I saw him, he said he was trying to find me a cheap room to rent. A few weeks later, I realized I was pregnant. It could have only been his.
I decided not to tell him. He was married, had a child with his wife, and just got a good job doing set work with one of the studios. I couldn't ruin his life like that, I cared about him too much. I avoided him when I saw him looking for me in my usual hangouts. I asked a friend to tell him I left town, to go back home, if he came around again looking for me. I never saw him again. Then you came. And you know the rest.
I know how terrible this makes me look. I am a runner. I always have been. Trouble finds me and I disappear. I did it to my family, I did it to your father, and I did it to you. I'm even waiting until I disappear for good to confess. I'm sorry. Please don't be like me. Don't run. Be strong, face life. Hiding from it is a miserable existence.
Anyway. Your father. I heard his name again many years later. I was in contact with your social worker, Jennifer. Remember I told you I kept up with you. She told me about a placement for you... and I nearly fainted. Somehow, someway, the universe wanted you to have contact with your father.
Raymond Williamson.
This is why I was nervous when you wanted me to meet your family. I was so afraid he would recognize me. But he didn't. He never knew I was pregnant and thought I had a different name. Until today, two days after Corey left from his last visit, is the first time I've ever told anyone the truth. I thought it would die with me, but I can't do that to you, sweetheart. You deserve the truth. You deserve to know your father.
I have no proof, other than knowing his name. But it won't be hard to prove. Show him this letter. Get tests done. And give my deepest apologies to Debbie.
I'm sure you're angry right now, Gail/Carla had another secret. But I hope in time you will see this in the way I intend it... my last gift to you. I have loved you since the day you were born, and I will love you until my last breath. I know you came to love me as your mother in the last year, even if you couldn't say so. I just hope that now remains.
Love eternally,
Mom
I read that name again. And again. And again. Until the page was blurry and I couldn't see it anymore. I must have had a thousand-mile stare in my eyes, because Tommy slowly pulled the letter out of my hands and set it down.
"Kandis... what is it? What does it say?"
"I..." I couldn't form words. I just blinked a few times trying to clear the blurriness away. "From Mom... She..." I shook my head. I couldn't. "Read it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Please."
Tommy picked the letter up, and as he read, my life from the age of fourteen and up flashed through my mind. My first day at the Willamsons house, when I was nervous and scared, and Nate made me feel welcome. I dropped the 'foster' out of 'brother' when talking about him while I still lived with them. This letter, if it's the truth? Means Nate is my brother. For real. The way Ray had taught me all about art, and I took to it so easily. There's a reason for that. Mom had no reason to tell lies on her deathbed. I didn't doubt her truth for one second.
"HOLY SHIT! Is she fucking serious?!"
I wished I could scream like Tommy did. I was just.... stuck. Like static.
"Why would she make it up?"
Tommy put the letter down, and got up, going behind my chair and grabbed my shoulders gently. "Are you okay?"
"I don't know.... I honestly don't know."
ON CAMERA
We open to a close up shot of the SCW World Championship belt, the nameplate engraved KANDIS the focus. As the shot pans out, it's seen that the belt rests around the waist of the World Champion herself, backwards. The bottom of the faceplate leaves slight dents in the tops of her, uh, cheeks. They're covered though, with black tights, cut outs on the sides, one of them revealing the kiss print ttattoo on the left cheek. Kandis slowly wiggles her rear, then turns as the shot pulls back more to show the smiling face of the Champion. Kandis sets her hands on the belt, and spins it around so that it's sitting correctly around her waist.
This might just be the finest piece of gold I've ever worn.
It's not the prettiest. If you look at the faceplate, you can see battle wounds. Dents from being slammed into people's heads, being tossed around the ring. Carried in so many different bags and hands over the years. Scratches, and if you look close enough into the etchings... probably a few bloodstains. All of those imperfections though are what makes this piece of gold so valuable. So prestigious. Sought-after.
Many people before me gave their blood and sweat ad risked their well being, and in some cases, their literal life for the chance to have their name attached to this, etched in gold, just like mine is right now. I bled in my match to win this. Maybe my blood isn't on the belt itself but it was spilled in the process so I'm gonna go ahead and count it. I have my own battle wound.
Kandis points to a faint scar over her left eyebrow, about an inch long.
I guess that makes me not the prettiest anymore either, huh?
Kandis shrugs.
Doesn't mater. I'm proud of it, and I'm still the hottest woman on this roster anyway. And this beauty?
Kandis rubs the faceplate lovingly.
Makes me the hottest commodity in SCW.
I mean, look at what's happened since I became World Champion. My in-ring celebration was interrupted. I didn't get through one entire Breakdown before being attacked! Asher Hayes was the quickest draw, he got himself on my celebration team and speared the shit out of me. But he wasn't the only one with that idea... nah, we had Old Man Simon standing in line too, waiting for his shot. I gotta say, when I watched it back, the look on his face after Asher beat him to sneaking me was priceless! Almost worth the day or two of sore ribs. And we can't forget the missing driver, can we? I still haven't figured out who the fuck was driving my car! Everyone assumes it was Raab, but he screamed over and over again that it wasn't him... and as much of a freak and albatross he is, I've never known him to be a liar. So who was it? Gavin Taylor maybe? I wouldn't be surprised.
Kandis scoffs. Her utter dislike of Gavin has been well known for several years.
So, that's three motherfuckers who came after me, in one night! If that doesn't make me the hottest thing in this company, I don't know what does. Everyone seems to want a piece of me. Not that I'm not used to everyone wanting a piece. I've given it out freely and shamelessly for a long time. But this isn't the same thing. This... is the SCW World Championship. This... isn't mine because someone threw me a shot to shut me up. Nah... I earned my chance to fight for it. I earned it over a year ago, and when I came back from injury, I quickly learned that I was gonna have to earn it all over again.
So what did I do?
I went out there and I fucking did it!
I won the End of the Year Battle Royal, proving why I had so many votes for the title shot even though I wasn't on the ballot!
I made a statement in the World Championship tournament when I beat Asher Hayes to get to the semi-finals, the man who has been talking about becoming World Champion pretty much since I came to SCW, and the man who beat me earlier in the year.
I won Taking Hold of the Flame! There is no bigger and better way to claim a title shot than that!
Kandis pauses a moment to compose herself. Crossing her arms across her chest, she tilts her head questioningly.
So tell me, Asher. What exactly did you do to earn this shot?
The last time we fought, I kicked your ass. Taking Hold of the Flame, you one of the last three. Not the last two. That honor goes to Gavin Taylor, so please explain to me why you think you should be ahead of him in line? Is it because you have that one win over me? Guess what? Gavin has more than one win on me! They were a long time ago, but they happened. Or, is it because you've been in SCW longer than most of the roster and therefore you earned it by, what, tenacity? Process of elimination? Or is it just because you were smarter than the other three fucks and got closer to me during my celebration and got the drop on me?
I want you to step back and really think about if any of those things really earns you anything.
With a shrug Kandis sets her hands on top of the belt again, continuing to make it a focal point.
But, here we are, Asher. Apocalypse, you and me part three. Whether you truly earned it or not, we're doing the damn thing. I didn't have to accepy your challenge. I could have made CHBK order it. Or asked to pick my own challenger. But nah... I don't run from fights. I never have and I never will. You wanted to fight me again so bad that you sneak attacked me. You put your hands on my property. You might not have earned the shot, but you earned my anger and that? Is worth putting this on the line for, just to make sure you find out one more time what happens when you fuck around and piss me off.
So, let's move past whether or not you earned it. I agreed regardless and it's a done deal. Let's talk about you, Asher. Let's talk about how many times you've gone away for one reason or another, then come back full of cum and liquor talking about how this time, you're gonna be the World Champion, dammit! I can think of at least three, and that's just since I've been here. And not once, not any of those times... have you ever managed to actually become World Champion.
You got pretty damn close when you were running around with Cid Turner. You even declared yourself a co-champion, complete with a fake belt. You acted like you'd won the thing instead of Cid! You were so obsessed with the championship, and so jealous that your friend was the real champion instead of you, that you just moved into your own little world, where you were the main character and Cid, the actual champion, was only a sidekick, or even just an NPC.
It would have been funny if it wasn't so pathetic.
You had the chance back then to be champion. More than one, if I remember right. And you choked. Every time. Just like you've done your entire career, every time you've gotten this close to getting your hands on this fine piece of gold. What makes you so confident this time, doll? Is it because you think you can beat me, since you did once almost a year ago? Do you think you're in my head after attacking me more than once? Let me help you out with both of those.
You can't, and you're not.
Kandis steps forward a little, putting most of the title out of view, and creating a somewhat more intimate atmosphere. She even speaks a little quieter.
There are a lot of things in my head, Asher. Things about this business, things about my husband, my family... those things? They can get to me. They can make me lose focus, temporarily lose my sanity. Cause me to question everything about myself, the strength that got me through the roughest parts of my life, the confidence I built up after believing I was nothing until a few years ago. Steal the person I've become and revert me back to that damaged little girl I used to be.
But here in SCW, out there in that ring? That's where I find myself. That's where nothing on the outside matters, where I am always focused on what I have to overcome. It's where I know exactly how strong I am, and I never question how good I can be or my ability to be the absolute best in this company. I have been screaming for years around here that I am more than what everyone saw me to be, and at Rise to Greatness... I proved it.
And I did it in just under five years in this company.
How long have you been here, Asher? Too long?
Kandis steps back again, and shrugs.
If you were ever going to be SCW World Champion, you would have done it by now. You missed your chance, my dude. You let the best years of your career pass you by while you were fucking around, getting high, playing King of the Mountain with Cid... whatever else it was you let distract you from what you claim means the most to you. Now you're starting to break down, after your career of brutal matches. Now.... you're desperate.
Kandis removes the belt from her waist and holds it up by a strap.
You desperately want to get your hands on this World Championship before your body forces you to put the boots away. That's why you jumped me. That's why you tried to attack me during my match with Raab – thanks for the DQ win, by the way. Desperate people make mistakes. And you made a big one when you decided to fuck around.
Placing the belt over her shoulder, Kandis smirks in the snarky yet sultry way only she can pull off.
Apocalypse, you're gonna find out, Asher... that you are not in my head at all. I'm in yours. I have what you want, what you could never get a hold of in all your time here. You've pulled out every desperate move you could think of to put yourself in this position. Your desperation might have brought you toe to toe with me, but it's also what's going to leave you lying at my feet, courtesy of a Starmaker to the skull.
Kandis lays the belt back on her shoulder. The shot closes in on the faceplate, and fades out on the Champion's name.