Breakdown 10-28-21 #1

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October 21
Houston TX
Toyota Center
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The crowd was still making noise as Team Ass (okay, maybe that's not an official name but I feel like the leader here so I'm calling us that, deal with it) made our way up the ramp to the back. Selena, Cid, and Pixie were already gone so we didn't have to deal with any awkward shit at gorilla. At least, not with them. Ricky and me were walking somewhat together, he seemed a little wary of me. Ace and Lexy were behind us. Once we were through the curtain and a few steps past gorilla, I turned to say something to my partners.

"Fucking right, I knew we could beat those fakes! Ace-"

As soon as I said his name, Lexy grabbed Ace's arm and started to pull him away.

"It's over, we don't need to be here.... we should run before the rest of the Jackals show up... let's go!"

Ace gives me a shrug, resigned to his fate, and lets Lexy drag him off. I guess it's easier than arguing with her? I don't know, she seems a little- okay, a lot, off to me. At least she didn't get in the way out there. Much.

Ace and Lexy disappeared. I turned my attention to Ricky. He was my focus anyway, he was the one I knew I could sweet talk into the space between my legs and get another contract in return.

"Ricky! You did it! You got us the win!" I gave him a hug, just like I did in the ring. He was just as receptive as out there, which wasn't very.

"I did, didn't I? I saw my chance and I took it."

I pulled away, but still holding his shoulders in both hands. "Fuck yeah you did! You were great! I don't know if you heard me with all the crowd noise and music, but as I said out there... I'm thrilled to have played my part as a motivating factor for your.... performance." I gave him a smirk. I couldn't tell if it made him more or less comfortable.

"Contracts are really motivating, too."

"They are! And speaking of contracts... I've been thinking about my offer."

"Rescinding?"

"Oh no... I don't take back those kinds of offers. I wanted to add an option. I was thinking..." I ran one finger down his bare chest. "Since you did such a good job securing us the win and getting us to the next round, maybe we don't have to wait for our... transaction."

"You... er, so soon?"

"You can consider it a reward for a job well done, and a promise of more later... after we win the whole thing and you hand me that contract. All you have to do is say the word and claim it."

I smirked. Ricky stepped back away from me. I pulled my hands back, gotta leave the guy wanting more contact, right? Ricky glanced sideways towards the hallway, and his expression went from confusion at me, to fear. I looked... and saw Rudy and Lucy standing there. I couldn't tell what the sweaty bastard was thinking but the look on Lucy's face was one I recognized. She was pissed Ricky was talking to me. I clearly threatened her. This was a new development, I had no idea there was anything other than business between them, despite the fact they were married. Rumor was it was a Visa deal. Wasn't my place to ask, I didn't give a shit. All I cared about was getting that second contract. But we had to win them first.

"I'm, uh... still considering your offer." He glanced at Lucy again, and she glared harder. I almost laughed.

"You didn't immediately say no. That means you want it. All you have to do is admit it, and we both get what we want." He looked me up and down, and I knew I was right. What I couldn't figure out was what the hesitation was. He didn't seem like the ambitious type, to already have plans for that contract. He didn't need it, I did! I'd teased enough though. "I can see your business associates are waiting for you. We'll talk soon." I gave him a wink and walked off, making sure my ass swayed a little more than usual, knowing he was watching without looking back to see.

As I got down the hallway heading towards the Jackals locker room, I reminded myself that Tommy wouldn't be waiting - he'd brought Bella to Breakdown to let her see how a large scale wrestling show works. He'd be with her.

Shit. Tommy.

His team won tonight too. With the way the brackets were set up, that meant next week... we would be facing each other. I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath. We knew the possibility was there, we both mentioned it in our videos this week. We both promised to go hard as if it were anyone else... but that was an abstract idea. This was now reality. And I really don't want to do it.

I got to the locker room and as expected, no one else was there. I slammed the door in annoyance and took a deep breath, preparing to scream. I was stopped by a knock on the door. I spun around to open it, but it opened on it's own... which was fine because this was the Jackals locker room and it was Drake who walked in, still with the crutch. He closed the door before saying anything.

"I intended to congratulate you for your team's victory, but you don't seem to be in a celebratory mood."

I set a hand on a hip. "You literally just walked in here, how can you tell that?"

"I was behind you and saw you slam the door. I tried to catch up, but..." Drake tapped the crutch with his hand.

"Oh. Yeah well... I mean I'm glad we won. But so did Tommy's team."

Drake nodded slowly. "I see. Your teams will face off next week."

"Yeah. And I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Drake nodded again, and took a seat on the sofa in the room. I plopped myself down next to him, knowing he was about to prompt me to anyway. I turned sideways to face him, my leg bent up on the cushion.

"It seemed like you both knew this was a possibility and were prepared for it."

"I thought I was. It's different now that it's happening, though. We both want the same thing, but we have to fight each other to get it? What am I supposed to do, tag out when he tags in? Refuse to fight him? Or go all out like it's anyone else and face consequences later?"

"Consequences? Is there something going on that you think this situation will make worse?"

I leaned back on the sofa. "Nothing wrong with your perception."

"What is the problem?"

I sighed. It was one thing to talk to Drake about this before, but now Tommy and me made that agreement. There used to be a wall here that doesn't exist anymore, only Drake doesn't know that. Yet.

“You remember the problem I asked you about? How I fucked up? Well... I did what you said. I talked to him.”

“About the fucking up, or about the exclusivity not working for you?”

“Both. I started with asking about renewing the deal we had. That... went a lot different than I expected.”

“How so? Was he unreceptive?”

“Opposite, actually. He agreed... and wanted to add a sort of clause. No exceptions.”

Drake gave me a head tilt. “What exactly does that mean?”

“It means... we can both hook up with whoever we want, and the other can't say no.”

“Anyone?” His eyes went slightly wide. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I thought when Tommy suggested it to me.

“Yeah. Anyone at all.”

“And you agreed to this?”

“Of course I did.”

We just looked at each other a few moments. “I'm not understanding where the problem lies. Is one of you upset with someone the other is interested in?”

I had to stop myself from smirking. That was a pretty fucking clever way of asking about himself without asking about himself. Or at least, I interpreted it that way, because it was what I wanted to hear.

“No. He knows where my mind is, and the girl he had in mind when he suggested it, I don't have a problem with her.”

“I see. So, what is the problem?”

I took another deep breath. This was where it got complicated – well, more complicated. “Well, after we agreed on that, I confessed what I did at the party. With our friend. Tommy was upset for a moment but then seemed to get over it pretty quick. I thought that was because he remembered that it was basically his fault me and this guy had a thing in the first place. But... that wasn't it. Turns out... he'd fucked someone else that night, too. Only at the time he thought it was me.”

“How could anyone mistake another woman for you?” There was a hint of amusement... or maybe admiration, in his eyes. Or, maybe I was seeing what I wanted to see.

“Because it was my sister.”

Drake blinked a few times in shock. “Your sister?” I had told Drake about my mother and her bullshit a while back, so he knew Coral existed.

“Yeah. I think she set it up to make him think she was me.”

“For what purpose?”

“I don't fucking know! And I don't care, I'm not talking to her.”

“Don't you want to know why-”

“No!” My volume startled Drake and he sat back. “I don't. It doesn't matter.”

“Obviously it does, if you think the fallout of these actions will be affected by you and Tommy being in a position to fight each other next week.”

I stared at Drake a moment, then exhaled hard, along with a frustrated groan. “I don't know, Drake. Since making that agreement, and revealing to each other what, and who we actually want, and then all of this came out... me and Ashley, him and Coral....” I shook my head, it was all so fucked up. “Part of me feels like we've been acting as if everything is fine, but it's really not. Like... I could kill my fucking sister. But... he's not entirely blameless, you know? And him... maybe he put me in the position to be involved with the guy, but I did go back on what I said. That's not a thing I usually do. His thing was a mistake. Mine was intentional.”

“I'm beginning to understand. You feel there's unresolved anger, and being in this position to fight each other, you're afraid it will come out and make matters worse.” I just nodded. I couldn't have put it into words, but that was exactly it. “Would you like my input?”

“Please.” Fuck, that could be taken a different way.

“I'll ask a question. What do you think Tommy will do with the situation? Be willing to fight you if necessary, or back off?”

“That's easy. He's a competitor through and through. He'll do what he thinks needs to be done. He already said so, if he has to fight me, he'll do it.”

“And you believe he will hold true to that, now that the hypothetical is literal?”

I didn't even have to think about it. “Yeah, I do.”

Drake nodded, as if he expected the answer. “In that case, you must do what needs to be done, as well. Whatever that means for you to get what you want. You want to win the Trios contracts, correct?” I nodded. “Then let nothing and no one stand in the way of what you want. Be everything I know you can be. Relentless. Ruthless.”

“And what happens if after the match, it doesn't stay in the ring?”

“I don't believe that will happen. Tommy knows the kind of woman you are. As do I, as does everyone. You are a woman who follows through with her word, and doesn't let anyone stop her from getting what she wants, in or out of the ring. Not even her partner.”

“I guess you're right. I don't really have a choice but to fight. I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I have teammates I can't let down. They worked together with me tonight, I can't back down next week just because it's hard.”

Drake smiled. “There's the Kandis I know and admire. You are not one to give up on what you desire, in or out of the ring. You chase it until it's yours, no matter the obstacle.”

I had to smirk. There was no way to misinterpret that. “Are you still talking about the match, or the deal me and Tommy made?”

“Perhaps both. I know what you want for the match, what is it that you want in the other matter?”

I leaned towards him slightly, and he mirrored my movement. I'm not sure either of us did it consciously. “Do you really need to ask me that question, Drake?”

I saw his eyes scan me down, then back up to look me in the eyes again. “No... I don't think I do. That said... you should focus on Trios first. I won't allow you to let a personal desire distract you from a professional one, no matter how tempting it may be.” He gives me a smirk, so slight I might have thought I imagined it, if not for what we were talking about.

“So you are interested. I wondered.”

“I have always been interested. No need to wonder.” Drake put a finger under my chin and leaned in, leaving an almost chaste kiss on my lips. It fit him. He backed away and smiled. “Now focus. Keep your head clear. Lead your team to victory next week and then at Under Attack. Afterwards... everyone gets what they want.”

“You're right. I have to focus. The obstacles don't matter.”

“They do not. Do what you must, whatever that means. Remember that. It's the core of how the Jackals operate.”

“Whatever it takes...” If that meant giving Ricky his payment for his contract early, as motivation to work harder to get more of me so we win everything... meaning I'd have to fuck him more than once? I can handle that. Worth it to have two contracts in my hand. But... we had to win them first. That meant going through Tommy and his team. If that meant risking exposing the dirty things we were trying to pretend weren't there... I can handle it. I just hope we survive it.
“Thanks. You have a way of making things make sense in my head.”

“Always a pleasure to assist.” Drake stood up, not putting too much weight on his injured ankle.
“I should go, I'm meeting Minerva at the hotel.”

“Good night.” Drake gave me a nod, grabbed his crutch, and walked out.

I rubbed my mouth with a finger. Had that really happened?

Stop it. Drake told me to focus on Trios, and I can't do that if I'm contemplating how soon we can test this no exceptions deal. No... I had to put my attention on how to get through fighting my boyfriend next week, when we're fighting for the same thing... and have all this underlying bullshit. I sat back on the sofa, thinking back to the night Tommy told me about Coral and the party. It had taken him all that time to realize what happened, and he never would have figured it out if I hadn't told him about me and Ashley....

* * * * * {{September 5 – Santa Barbara }} * * * * *

I locked the door to my studio, and somehow managed to keep myself from screaming. Coral... and Tommy.... the thought of it made me want to throw up. I was pissed, hurt, disgusted.. We'd already agreed to no one off limits, at Tommy's request. But it couldn't have been for her, right? He seemed disgusted at the whole thing himself.

He'd thought he was with me. He was drunk and it was dark and he thought she was me.

I spun around and picked up a handful of paintbrushes from a nearby table and threw them across the room. They bounced over the floor, scattering. It didn't make nearly enough noise. I didn't know what else to do with myself, so I just sat on the floor where I stood, crossed my legs and held my head in my hands.

I didn't really have a right to be mad, did I? I'd done the same fucking thing the same night. In this room, on that couch. I looked up at it and made a face. I did what I did on purpose. I knew who I was with, and I knew I shouldn't have been doing it. But I did anyway. Tommy... made a mistake. Coral did look a lot like me. Tommy had been shitfaced. The house was dark. Coral and I were even wearing the same bikini, just in different colors. Mine was black, hers was navy.... which probably looked black in the dark.

Wait a fucking minute.

It was Coral who had suggested we get them. “We'll look almost like twins” she said. She had then put her hair up like mine, saying hers was bothering her and my style looked comfortable. Coral had gone out of her way to look as much like me as she possibly could.

THAT BITCH.

I stood up and grabbed the closest thing I could get my hands on, a blank canvas the size of a movie poster... and hurled it across the room. It hit the floor on an corner, and the frame splintered. Wood flew, and the canvas itself flapped to the floor. I couldn't stop myself from screaming anymore.

“GODFUCKINGDAMMIT!”

I didn't even care if Tommy heard me, it wasn't directed at him. Maybe a bit, but this wasn't his fault. This was a set up. I had no idea why Coral would come to our house wit h a plan to literally pretend to be me just to fuck Tommy.... and I decided I didn't care.

Fuck Coral.

Fuck Gail, her mother.

Fuck family.

This shit was why I hardly ever let anyone in. Every. Single. Fucking. Time, I got fucked over. The only person who hadn't found a way to destroy a part of me was Tommy. So far.

I looked up at the wall I'd painted – both of our faces, in full ring makeup. Me with my face made up with bright lipstick and large glitter near my eyes, Tommy with facepaint he sometimes wore for matches.

No.

I refused to believe that he'd ever do something on purpose to hurt me. He wasn't like everyone else. He wasn't like my mother. He wasn't like the assholes in every school I ever went to who tormented me. He wasn't like the foster father who raped me. He wasn't like Jackson.

Tommy loves me. He made a mistake. He might have been fucked up but Coral took advantage of that. My sister.

Fuck that. I don't have a sister. I have a bitch who shares DNA, that I had no reason to speak to ever again.

I also had a boyfriend who was beside himself with remorse, and I had walked away from him as he tried to keep apologizing. I had to fix this. I didn't know how much time passed before I made myself go to the door and unlock it. I made myself leave the room. I eventually found Tommy sitting outside near the pool. He must have heard me open the door, as he turned to look at me. He seemed afraid of what I was going to say.

“Kandis?”

“It's okay... can we talk?”

* * * * * {{October 21 – Houston}} * * * * *

The memory faded at the sound of the locker room door opening again. I looked up and Tommy was there. He was still in his gear from earlier. So was I.

“Hey... sorry I'm late meeting you. Bella-”

“It doesn't matter. Can we go?”

“I was about to ask if you were ready.”

In reply I stood up and grabbed my bag. I could shower at the hotel, I just wanted to leave. We met Bella in the hallway and walked to the exit.

“So... next week...”

“Not tonight.”

“Alright.”

I wanted at least one more night of normal.