Breakdown 10-28-21 #2
October 27
Santa Barbara
Ante Up Academy
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Both Tommy and I had some apprehension about Trios. I think I was more nervous about it than he was, but after getting home from Houston we talked about it, and came to the same conclusion I had reached when talking to Drake – we didn't have a choice. If either one of us backed down from the other, SCW would never let us forget it. Everything about our existence lately had been awkward. SCW, our relationship, even working at Ante Up, since both Ashley and Bella were almost always there. So, we spent the week doing what we've gotten used to lately – pushed ahead as if everything was fine.
Wednesday we were doing what we usually do on a week where travel to Breakdown isn't terrible... working out together, which always includes a sparring session. After going through our usual sets, I started heading towards the ring.
“I didn't think you'd want to hit the ring...”
I shrugged. “Why not? If we're supposed to be looking at this like any other match and any other opponents, why wouldn't we train like any other week?”
“I'm fine with that.”
As we got to the ring, I noticed some of the students take interest. I'm sure we were the talk of the entire gym ever since last Thursday when it was a certainty that Tommy and I were on opposing sides this week. We slid into the ring, both doing our best to ignore the fact we had an audience. A few people had stepped closer, not even trying to hide the fact they were watching. After a few drills, we went to our corners, then stepped up, fighting stance. It was in that moment, right before contact, that I saw both Ashley and Bella in the small crowd. The two second distraction was all it took for Tommy to take me down with an arm drag. I rolled through and got to my feet. He was looking at me with an amused smirk. I stepped up and we tied up. I did a standing switch and twisted his arm back in a hammerlock. Tommy ducked under and twisted out of it, trying to counter into putting the same hold on me. I pulled away though and ran the ropes. Tommy leaned in to shoulder tackle me, but I side stepped. He kept going and bounced off the ropes. I spun and nailed him with a spinning elbow. He went down. Tommy got right back up, the amused smirk was gone. I was looking at his ring face.
We locked up again, and Tommy powered me into the corner. I probably could have prevented it but I was surprised at the strength he used, it wasn't sparring-level. It was match-level. So this was how he was gonna play this? Okay. I changed my mindset and before Tommy could do anything to me in the corner, I got a leg up and shoved my foot into his stomach, kicking him backwards. He wasn't expecting that and stumbled back. I came out of the corner swinging, and we exchanged a few strikes. I put an end to that though when I stepped back then threw a high knee into his ribs. Tommy stepped back, holding his side. It was like a cloud lifted and I remembered that was Tommy across the ring from me, not an actual opponent, and we were supposed to be sparring.
“Shit... are you okay?”
“Yeah... just caught me off guard.”
“Sorry...”
“Don't be.”
I just watched as Tommy caught his breath. He soon recovered, and waved me on, ready to go again. I nodded, and we locked up a third time. Tommy got a good grip on my arm and threw me into the ropes. I tried to grab the top rope to stop myself from bouncing off, but missed. The momentum made me stumble forward off balance, and Tommy grabbed me, spun and planted me with a sidewalk slam. Tommy got up and I made myself get up, even though the impact made my back sore. When I looked up, Tommy was coming at me with a forearm shot. I put my hands up but he nailed me anyway. Out of pure instinct I spun and landed a spinning heel kick. We both went down, him from the kick and me from the momentum of the kick and impact of his forearm shot. We sat up at the same time, staring at each other. I heard a voice from ringside.
“Shit....”
I think it was Bella. I was trying to catch my breath, Tommy was staring at me like he didn't know me. I didn't like it.
“Break?”
“Yeah.... break.”
We exited the ring, and the small crowd dispersed quickly. Soon it was just me and Tommy at ringside. Everyone else had gone back to what they were doing before. I didn't see Ashley or Bella anywhere. I hopped up and sat on the ring apron, Tommy leaned against it next to me.
“That got a little intense.”
“Yeah, it did. I didn't mean to-”
“Neither did I.”
“Sparring was a bad idea. I'm just trying to keep things as normal as possible, you know?”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, I get it. But... what's even normal anymore? I haven't been sure about that since Rise.”
“Honestly? Me either. We really fucked things up, didn't we?”
“Seems like it. Maybe this whole agreement thing was a bad idea.”
“No, it's not a bad idea. Trying to be conventional and me fucking that up cause I'm not made that way is what made this complicated. I never should have tried to be something I'm not.”
“Think that would have stopped your sister from her trick?”
I glared. I didn't want to think about Coral. “Probably not. But...” I sighed. I didn't even know what I was saying. I decided to change the subject a bit. “Listen, as long as we're talking about the deal... I should tell you about a deal I made.”
Tommy pushed off the apron and looked at me curiously. “What kind of deal? With who?”
“Well, it's not a deal yet, he hasn't accepted. But it's Ricky. I offered to spend the night with him if he gave me his contract, if my team wins.”
Tommy stepped back away from me. “You did what?”
“That way, we'll have two, and Ace would only have one, so we'd have the advantage in getting the titles back. It's the only way I could see myself working with them to win and Ace getting a-”
“Hold on a minute... you told Ricky James you'd fuck him for his contract?”
“Yes.”
“So you're already assuming me and my team are losing?!” He was pissed. I was confused.
“Wait... that's your objection?”
“Yes that's my objection! As per our agreement, which was my idea, I have no say over who you choose to fuck around with. But you made a deal for a contract none of you have yet, based on the assumption you will have it, which means you think I don't have a chance!”
I hopped off the apron and stood in front of Tommy, this now required full attention. “That's not how it went! I made the offer before last week's match! I was giving the man motivation to work with us, in hopes we would win.”
“You keep saying we, as if you did this for me!”
“I did! We both want the tag titles back, right? I was thinking of increasing our chances of getting them. What are you doing to to make things better for us if your team wins?”
“I'm sure the hell not offering to fuck Kennedy for her contract!”
“I wouldn't give a shit if you did. Maybe you should! She could probably use a good lay after having been married to Knots for years..”
Tommy shook his head at me. “Do you hear yourself?”
“Tell me it's a bad idea.”
“It's a fucking terrible idea! If your team was in the finals and I was already out I could understand, but as soon as the teams were announced? You never really had any faith in me at all!”
“Yes I did! If we'd have lost the first round my offer wouldn't have mattered. I made it in case! Do you think I wanted to be in this position, where we're on opposite sides?”
“Do you think I did? But you don't see me going around making deals that depend on your loss!”
This was getting out of hand. “Babe. Didn't we both say last week that if it came to this, we would throw down as if it were anyone else?” Tommy nodded, reluctantly. “That's all I'm doing. I don't want to do this with you tomorrow night. But I have to, to get what I want.”
“We both want the same thing, it doesn't have to be like this.”
“Yes it does. I won't go into this half assed and I don't expect you to, either.”
“I wasn't planning on it, but I wasn't doubting your ability to lead your team to the end. You made a deal that only makes sense if I'm out!”
“Dammit Tommy, you're focusing on the wrong thing! I want a fucking contract, but I don't want Ace to be on equal footing. The solution... is to get my hands on Ricky's contract, by any means possible. If that means motivation by pussy, that's what it means. At least the three of us are trying to work together rather than being snarky at each other like your team!”
“So you do think we're gonna lose.”
“Maybe I do. After me and my team win the whole thing, you aren't going to be complaining about my offer to Ricky when we have two contracts in our pockets instead of one.”
Tommy glared angrily. “Oh yeah? How's this, when we win and get those contracts, why don't you throw yourself at Asher again to get his?!”
“Oh fuck you!” I brushed past Tommy and headed for the locker rooms.
“Kandis! Wait!”
“No!”
I stormed into the locker room and stripped. No one else was in there but I wouldn't have cared if there was. I grabbed a towel and stepped into the sauna. It was a weird place to go to 'cool off' but I wanted to be alone.
After I'd sat there in the heat for a few minutes and calmed down, I started to think maybe Tommy had a right to be upset. My offer to Ricky was dependent on our team winning and Tommy's team losing. I guess I just thought from the start that his team wouldn't make it. Not by any fault of his, I wouldn't ever think that. But... I saw how it looked that way from his point of view. I just couldn't believe he really thought I thought that little of his ability. It's not very often I get angry at Tommy, in most cases we're on the same page. Fuck, we should be on the same page for this, too. No matter who wins, there would be a reason to celebrate. But neither of us were looking at it that way. We both had our own reasons for wanting to be the one to win this. I couldn't guess at Tommy's but mine were clear.
I needed it to be me.
Like I told Ace when the three of us met at that bar. Tommy was the accomplished one, the decorated one, the respected one. I was just his girlfriend. I needed to be more than that. I had to get my team past Tommy's team if I wanted to win the whole thing. It's an unfortunate situation and we were both dealing with it the best we could. This entire argument had been stupid, and probably my fault. It was an extention of my wanting out of the exclusivity and reopening the deal. I needed to be more. To have more.
I left the sauna and got dressed. After asking a few questions, I found Tommy upstairs in his office. I knocked then walked in without waiting to be invited. Tommy looked up at me, surprised.
“I'm sorry.”
“You? What for?”
“Everything?”
“You're not the one who threw out accusations of lack of faith.”
“No, but I started it by telling you about Ricky.”
“Why did you tell me, anyway? You could have just said something after, if you guys make it.”
I shrugged. “I didn't want to keep anything from you. We've both done enough of that lately.”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, I guess we have. I'll only accept your apology if you accept mine.”
“Deal.” I smiled. He did too.
“You know I don't want to do this, either, right?”
“I know. We didn't ask for this, but we don't have a choice. We just have to walk in there and do what needs to be done. Whatever that means.”
“I agree. And after this is over, put it behind us.”
“Can we? I mean, there's so much...”
“One thing at a time. Trios first. Everything else after.”
I nodded. It wasn't ideal but it had to be that way.
ON CAMERA
What a fucking mess we find ourselves in this week, isn't it? And I do mean fucking literally, do you realize how much sex there is between these two teams? I mean obviously there's me and Tommy, right? But Ace and Kennedy used to be a thing, me and Asher had that one thing he loves to brag about, not that I can blame him. And I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Ace and Asher had hit that, because there is way too much animosity between those two dudes for it to be just about wrestling.
But Trios isn't a gang bang, so for the time being I'm gonna put all sex talk to the side. It seems like this week my team is facing another team of fakes. Not Tommy of course, but Kennedy and Asher. Kennedy Street is out here every week trying to make SCW believe it couldn't function without her presence, but I'm pretty sure that it chugged along just fine while she fucked off to make shitty movies for two years. In fact, SCW thrived without her. But don't tell that to her ego, it's bad enough the only movie she made that had any success at all was only successful because of her costar, she couldn't handle the fact that SCW doesn't give a shit about her. Look at Rise to Greatness, no one wanted to take her stupid little challenge so she had to butt herself into someone else's match, and then tried to make it sound like she did them a favor. She's not fooling anyone but herself though, and I don't have a problem exposing this trick for the rusty bitch she is.
But, I think the biggest fake out of them all, including our opponents last week, is Asher Hayes. As much as I can't stand that Lancaster bitch, she really did have a point about Asher and his delusion about being World Champion, or co-champion, or whatever the fuck it was he deluded himself into thinking he was. It's pretty damn sad to be so fixated on something you can't win that you convince yourself that you did. Asher also has this delusion that he's the world's greatest lover and has the biggest dick in the locker room. Listen... take it from a woman who knows. He isn't, and it's not.
But this isn't really about them and I'm not gonna waste any more time talking about people who don't matter. This is about me. I know everyone is just dying to see what's gonna happen when the bell rings, with me on one side and Tommy on the other. Is he gonna lay down for me? Am I gonna lay down for him? Are we gonna just refuse to get in the ring at the same time at all?
I'll go ahead and give you a spoiler, none of the above.
I can't speak for Tommy so I'm not gonna try to, but me? I don't back down for anyone. No, not even the man I love. I'm gonna be real with everyone, maybe the realest I've ever been. Tommy and me are four time Tag Team Champions. That sounds like we're equals, right? We both get wins and take losses, we both wear a belt when we're champions, we both give everything we have. Except that's not how we're seen, and that's not how it's played out.
Don't you think I know how people see the Connection? Tommy is a Hall of Famer. He's accomplished, decorated, and respected – for the most part. He's one title away from being a Supreme Champion. Me? I'm just his partner. His girlfriend. It doesn't matter how many tag matches we've won together, how many tag title reigns we have... I have always been seen as second best. And I can't really debate that. Tommy will stress over and over again that we're equals, it's a team effort, but I know that's bullshit. The four Tag Titles we've one, only once was I the person who scored the pinfall. Every other time, including successful defenses... Tommy made the pin. He won it for us. No matter how much he tries to make me feel like we're even, he is the one who gets the credit for our work, given singles opportunities. He came seconds away from becoming World Champion last year, while I'm sitting over here with my hands on my hips as an afterthought.
Sure, I was given a shot at the TV Championship, which I won, but even that was just to fuck with the Golden Boys rather than because anyone thought I deserved it. And you know what? Maybe I don't deserve more, because I don't have a lot of singles wins on my record. Maybe it's just a vicious cycle, no one expects me to amount to anything on my own, so I don't. I act like I don't care because in the short term most of those matches don't matter. In the long run they do though, because I'm just proving everyone right – I'm not much of a threat on my own. I'm nothing without Tommy Valentine.
I am sick of this being the perception. I've said this over and over and no one seems to take me seriously or give me the chance to prove it. I have the chance now though, because circumstances force me to fight without him. Opposite him, even. If I'm gonna get what I want, my team has to go through Tommy's. We'll probably have to fight each other. I wasn't prepared for that a week ago, the idea freaked me out. But I've accepted that I just have to do what needs to be done.
Maybe Trios isn't the best place to make a statement, since I'm still working with tag partners, but they aren't my regular partners. I can work with that, because my intention now is to prove that I don't need Tommy to be successful. Listen... I love him, okay? I love everything about him, teaming with him, working with him at Ante Up, living with him, sleeping with him... everything. But I am sick to death of being told and treated like I am nothing without him. I'm going to prove that by being the one to lead this this team to victory all the way to Under Attack and those contracts.
This is my time to be the one who accomplished something! My moment to make everyone who's ever said I'm nothing without Tommy shut the fuck up. If I have to go through him to do that... so be it. I said last week that if I have to put him down myself to get my team those contracts, I'll do it. I never back down on something I say I'm gonna do, so if it has to be done to keep my word.... so be it. I'm going to that ring with my team and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get the job done. When it's all over I'm not going to apologize for anything done in that ring to get what I want, the recognition I deserve, the defining moment where it can no longer be denied who the fuck I am and what the fuck I'm capable of.
I don't need Tommy to be successful. I'm with him because I want to be. Once this is all over, everyone is going to understand the difference.
It might not look like it to the world but I have been the glue holding this team together, and as far as I'm concerned? Ace and Ricky are just along for the ride as I take this team all the way to the end.
Oh and Ricky... I promise you made the right decision, and you won't be disappointed.