Breakdown 4-7-22 #1
In order to stay focused on Retribution, Tommy and I had decided to keep our big decision to ourselves until after the show. We knew both of our families would have a million questions and comments and we didn't want the distractions. The plan worked out great for Tommy, he taught that Crystal bitch a lesson in picking fights. Me though? Not so much. Brittany Lohan tossed my ass out of the ring then turned around and got herself pinned by Holly Adams, ending Double Jeopardy for me. I wasn't sure who to be more pissed at, until it occurred to me that it simply meant I wasn't pinned, therefore I didn't actually lose. This kind of shit is why I hate clusterfuck matches. It might sound like a good thing for me, because I still have a claim to fight Selena on my own, but if I'd just been given that chance in the first place, we wouldn't have this mess on our hands, would we? The other part of that silver lining though, is that Selena beat Holly in the finals – again. I did my part to make sure Holly didn't get anywhere close to winning. I want that championship, and taking it from Holly just wouldn't be the same. It has to be Selena. Besides, no one wanted to see or hear that harpy as World Champion anyway. End result? That bitch's claim is officially fucking dead. Autumn Valentine got pinned too – maybe it was by bullshit but honestly she deserves it after all the shit she's pulled so I don't even care. Brittany took her ball and went home, and Kim never wanted the fucking title in the first place. You know what that leaves, don't you?
Me.
I'm the only one left out of that mess who still has a claim, a right to step up to Selena and get the one on one shot I should have had in the first place.
March 14
Santa Barbara
Valentine Home
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Tommy and I got home Monday morning, I wasn't as angry as you might think I was. I knew I still had a chance, I knew there was no one else who made sense to be next up. Tommy didn't even have to convince me this time, I just knew. When we got home, I did my best to not let Retribution bother me. SCW had an extra week before going back on the road for Breakdown, which meant Tommy and me had extra time to start to spread the news around. First, Tommy called his mom. I heard the woman screaming through the phone, all I could do was laugh. I really hope she wasn't thinking she was going to help me plan some kind of traditional wedding bullshit. She should know me better than that by now. While Tommy was on the phone with her for what seemed like eternity, I went outside to sit near the pool and called Nate. I figured he should be first, since I'd gone to him first after Tommy posed the question to me.
“Hey sister, what's up?”
“Um, a lot, actually. You got a few minutes?”
“For you, of course. Everything okay? I saw your show..."
“Forget the show. More than okay, for once. I'm not calling for advice or to bitch like usual, I have some news.”
I heard Nate's breath catch, like a miniature gasp. “You did it.”
“Fuck, could you at least let me say it?” I laughed, though.
“Sorry... go ahead.” Nate laughed too.
“Okay, so... that thing you asked me what I was afraid of and I told you I had to work out?”
“Still not sharing, huh?” I heard amusement. Too bad.
“Nope. Anyway, I figured out a way I can work with it. Soooo, I accepted.”
“I had a feeling you would. Congratulations.”
“Than- wait. You knew I would? How could you know that, I didn't even know.”
“I just know you, Kandy. You push back, you hesitate, you work through whatever, then you say fuck it. You have a pattern. Besides, you belong together. No one else would tolerate the way you two work.” Nate chuckled. I had to laugh.
“That's probably not wrong.” I knew of other couples who were open, but they all had rules and limitations. We don't.
“I guess it's too soon for you to have figured out any timing?”
“Way too fucking soon. We're only telling family just today. I can't even think about when, I have to get used to the idea I actually agreed first.”
“Good answer. It's not really a thing you want to rush. You remember how long me and Carissa planned our wedding.”
“Two long-ass years, yes I remember. I don't know if it'll be that long, but it's not in three months, either.”
“Great, cause Mom and Dad would never forgive you for not giving them time to gush. Speaking of them, you'd better call right after talking to me, cause if they find out from TV or any means other than you, they'll disown you.”
I laughed, obviously Nate was joking. But he was also right. “Yes bro, I was calling Debbie next anyway.”
“Good. And don't mention you told me first, you'll break her heart.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
“Okay, fine, I won't tell her I told you first.”
“Good call, trust me. Go ahead and call her.”
“Wait... do you think I should go over? Tell them in person?”
“Not unless you want squealing and sobbing in your ear.”
Hmm. Debbie was prone to getting emotional. And Nate knows that bothers me. “Point taken. I'll call her right now. And hey.... thanks again for the talk. You really did help me a lot.”
“Any time. You know that.”
I ended the call with Nate, and took a deep breath before calling Debbie. Nate had me paranoid about how she was gonna react, as if I hadn't known the woman since I was fourteen and didn't know better. But, Nate did know his mother better, it turned out. I thought he was exaggerating since no one in the family had ever expected me to something insane like get married. But... the woman actually cried and had to give the phone to Ray. I had no idea it was such a big deal to her for me to get married some day. Ray suggested we have a big family dinner with both families to celebrate and have everyone who hadn't met yet get to meet. The idea made me nervous but it was still a good idea. I imagined Tommy's daughter Taylor and my adoptive niece Carla getting along. When I got off the phone and went back inside, Tommy was off the phone too... and his mom had suggested the same thing. Well, guess we had to do something now, didn't we? We decided to take some time to figure out the best way to accomplish what both families wanted, but still do it in our own way. A dinner party didn't appeal to either one of us.
I also called Sydney and Uncle Corey. I knew I should probably tell Gail, but I wanted to see her in person for it. Coral? Fuck her. She could hear along with the rest of Ante Up. Finally, I sent one text. The exchange was brief, but clear.
Me: [Just so you know. I accepted.]
Drake: [Very well. Congratulations.]
I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just didn't.
March 16
Santa Barbara
Ante Up
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It was a few days after the flurry of phone calls, and Tommy and I were at Ante Up doing our usual weekday thing. I had my striking class early, the intermediate one. Tommy had paperwork to catch up on in his office, and then a class of his own. My intermediate class consisted of Ashley, Bella, two other newer guys named Benny and Luke, and somehow... Coral. Tish had decided she had progressed past beginner and sent her to me. Since the day we spoke in the office, Coral had been towing the line, not starting any shit, and appearing to take training seriously. I mean, apparently enough so that Tish sent her to my striking class. But, I still didn't trust her, not completely. Coral had pulled so many stunts, said so many terrible things since I met her that it was hard to shake the feeling that she was still somehow working some angle to fuck with me some more. But, I acted as if everything was fine, and kept my eye on her. The class that day was typical, everyone did well, nothing of real note happened. After class ended, everyone dispersed to their other activities for the day. I picked up the kickpads we were using and put them away, then headed to the locker rooms to freshen up a bit and change. I saw Tommy in one of the other rings. He didn't have a whole class as I thought; he was working with Bella one on one. She must have met up with him right after leaving my ring. I got changed and just as I finished and was about to leave the locker room, I got a text, from Ashley.
[Hey... meet me in the office?]
“The office” meant the one formerly occupied by David Helms, that we now used as a private meeting room. That ranged from individual consults with students, a quiet place to make a phone call or just chill out a few moments, or in me and Ashley's case... a place to hook up that wasn't either one of our houses. I grinned at the text, it had been a few weeks since we'd met up for sex, the last time I tried he had other plans, and then I was busy with Retribution prep. I replied with an “OK” and left the locker room, headed upstairs. I knew Tommy's office was empty, I could see him in the ring with Bella. Which meant there was no one upstairs to hear anything. I made myself walk up the stairs normally rather than sprint, didn't want to draw attention. When I got to the office, Ashley was already there. I walked in, past him, and turned around as he closed and locked the door. He turned to me, still in his training gear from class earlier and slightly sweaty. I expected him to walk up to me and grab me, like what usually happens in here, but instead he glared at me with his arms crossed.
“When was you plannin' on telling me, eh?”
“Tell you what?” I had zero idea what he meant.
“About ya getting married!”
My eyes went wide. “Oh...” I had been so concerned about Drake's reaction that it had never occurred to me what Ashley's might be. How the hell did he even know? Tommy? “Uh, later today, actually. After classes and-”
“Stop yer lyin'! I can see it all over yer face. Ya weren't gonna talk t'me about it at all, were ya?”
I sighed. He was right, but I wasn't going to admit it. “I'm sorry, okay? I was going to... eventually.” I winced as his glare deepened. “We've only told family so far.”
“Yeah, I know, that's how I found out. Charl called me up, askin' what I thought about the whole thing.”
Fucking Charlotte. She knew me and Ashley were a thing because when he'd overheard me and Tommy talking about how we basically set him up to fuck me to distract him from Charlotte, he told her. I never took her for the vindictive type. I had a lot to learn about this family, didn't I?
“Right... I keep forgetting she knows about us.”
“Look, I'm not fussed about that anymore, but this?” Ashley chuckled a little. “Y'know, I dint think he was really gonna do it.”
“What does that mean?”
“Oh, you dint know about the boy's night? Bout a month ago it were, he had me an Thomas an Gable an Kyle meet up at the club an asked us all our thoughts on the idear.”
“What did you say?”
“What d'ya think?! I dunt like it! D'ya think I wanna be involved with another bloke's wife?”
“Ash-”
“It were a mental leap enough accepting bein' a third – or forth, or fifth, I dunno how many of us y'got – wheel t'ya relationship, but getting married? That changes everything, Kandis.”
I sighed again, pacing the room. I ended up near the door, as he turned, following me to keep facing me. “Does it really? Knowing Tommy as I do, I'm willing to bet he spoke to you privately and told you that our arrangement doesn't change. Right?”
“Yeah... yeah he did. More or less...” Ashley didn't seem to want to admit that. But he couldn't lie to me.
“So what difference does it make?” My words sounded like a whine in my ears. This was almost exactly like when I spoke to Drake, except Drake wasn't so angry about it. He was just... dejected? Ashley had always worn his emotions on his sleeve though, he didn't suppress anything. It was one of the things I liked about him
“It makes all the difference, a girlfriend isn't the same thing as a wife. One is much more... established. Fixed.”
“Our legal status doesn't matter if our rules don't change. And the rules are, we have no rules. Well, one. Just be honest. That's it. And honestly...” I took a step closer. “I don't want anything between us to change.” My involvement with Drake was already hanging by a thread, I wasn't going to let this end up like that, too.
“Didja ever consider that mebbe it's not always about what you want?”
“I know that... so, what do you want? Do you want to walk away from this? If you do, tell me now, rip the Band-aid off.” I held my breath waiting for his answer, but he said nothing, just looked down. I knew what that meant. “I didn't think so. I know what this is, you're worried things will change too much, right? That eventually it won't be the same.”
He looked up. “How can it be the same? You'll be his wife for fucks sake! You can both say now things will stay the same, but y'dunt know that. Ya can't know that!”
I stepped closer and risked laying my hand on his arm, he still had them crossed over his chest. He didn't move away. “Yes, I do know that. The only reason I accepted, is because he swore to me that nothing changes except paperwork and my name. I can't be locked down, and he knows that.”
“An ya trust that?”
“If I didn't trust that, I would have refused.” The glare that had been on Ashley's face since I walked in faded somewhat. “You do know he's messing around too, right?”
Ashley nodded. “Bella... she told me herself.” I nodded once, letting him know I knew about her. “Are there others?”
Normally that wouldn't be anyone's business, but this wasn't anything close to a normal conversation. “If there are, he hasn't told me. But I haven't asked, because I don't really care. That's the whole point, we see who we want but at the end of the day, we return to each other. That's how it's been the whole time me and you have been doing this and it's never been a problem before.” Other than him finding out why it started, but that didn't need to be said. “I'm almost positive you don't really want to back out of this. Do you?”
Stepping back and causing my hand to fall away from his arm, Ashley leaned on the desk, sincerity replacing the glare in his eyes. “No. But I dunt wanna 'get deeper involved just t'end up slowly pushed aside, either.”
“I'm not gonna let that happen.” He looked at me skeptically. I was being honest, I had no intentions of anything cooling off or fading away. It wasn't the same as Drake, and obviously not the same as Tommy either, but I do care about him and I didn't want this to end or change. I got closer again, laying my hand on his shoulder this time. “How can I make you believe that?”
Nothing happened for a few seconds, then suddenly Ashley stood up and grabbed me, pulling me close against him, then kissed me roughly. He pulled away just enough to speak, lips still touching mine. “Fuck me like you mean it.”
I instinctively shoved Ashley back against the desk, matching his roughness. He sat on it, and I pushed him down to his back, and also turned so that he was laying on it longways. I hurriedly pulled my leggings off, then yanked his shorts down, not bothering to get them all the way off before I climbed up and sat on him. He didn't need any encouragement, he was ready for me. Papers and a desk calendar were knocked to the floor, neither of us cared. I rode fast and hard, and we each put a hand over the other's mouth to muffle the sounds. The desk creaked as we finished. I slid off, sitting on the edge of the desk next to him. I took a few seconds to catch my breath, and brushed my hair back out of my face.
“Does that... clear things up... for you?” Ashley had his hand on my thigh, gently rubbing me, as he nodded, still too out of breath to speak. “I told you... nothing changes. Okay?”
“Alright.” He grinned up at me.
“I should have told you the same day as everyone else I called. I'm sorry.” He nodded. “Are we good?”
“Yeah.... yeah, we're good.”
I smiled, and leaned over, one hand on his face and kissed him, deep.
Crisis averted, and I was relieved.
After getting dressed and leaving the office, five minutes apart, it occurred to me that my lovers had levels. Tommy of course was Number One. Drake and Ashley? Two and Three. I couldn't decide which was which, it fluctuated. Everyone else? They don't matter.