Breakdown 5-11-23
The last two months have not been very good to me. Okay, sure, I did beat Simon Lyman's ass at Retribution, except that had two results I didn't expect. One, I didn't make him realize he made a mistake and go back to the booth, because the fucker is still wrestling, and two... it dragged Amy Chastaine out of retirement, too. Bitch got all up in my business! Then Kimberly Williams decided to fuck everyone around with her Trios.... which would have been perfectly fine with me, except for the fact that Chastaine's newest rugrat trainee made me lose all my pinfalls. I was going to become World Champion! I couldn't let that stand. Logan found out what happens when you fuck around with me, and so did Bree Lancaster, just in case she got any ideas about helping Amy or Logan. But... instead of getting a shot after clearly being fucked out of the title – AGAIN – I was booked to face Datura. Again. She challenged me, and I'm not the one to back down. In fact, I was so eager to kick her ass at Playing the Wildcard, that I did it even before the match started! Why waste time, right?
That's all work, though. Personally? Things have been even worse. I'm lucky that I have a job where I can let out all my anger and frustration physically by causing damage.
Tommy's physical therapy progress seems to have stalled, and I'm starting to wonder if he just doesn't want to come back to work and is afraid to tell me. He's been spending more time with Jada, our best bartender at the Starmaker. I don't mind that so much, she's a good friend and I trust her. It sort of makes up for the way I've been spending my time when I'm not home with hubs. Mainly, getting to know – and by know I mean fuck – as many of the Starmaker's patrons as I possibly can. I don't think Tommy likes it, but our agreement states no questions so he can't really say anything to me. So that's why he's been around Jada more. Our relationship was already unconventional to begin with, but now it just seems straight up unhealthy. And I know what I'm doing. I know myself. I can't what (who) I want so I'm just fucking around out of spite. Knowing why I'm acting this way though doesn't mean I can stop it. I've always had terrible impulse control, especially when my emotions are fucked.
Why are my emotions fucked, you ask?
All of this bullshit is eclipsed by the fact that Gail, my birth mother, is dying of cancer. And she refuse treatment.
I am fucking tired of everything and everyone I care about being slowly taken away from me. The worst part is that I can't do anything about it, because all of the decisions that control these things are out of my hands. It's been a long time since I felt this helpless.
April 28
Santa Barbara
The Starmaker
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It was a Friday night and the club was bumping. Three of us – me, Tommy, and Jada – were serving drinks. The fourth (and newest hire) bartender, Riley, would be coming on in an hour. As I was serving, I saw several customers that's I'd already gotten to know up close and personal. Most of them were... less that decent. It's always a crap shoot when picking up lays in a bar. There was one in particular who was impressive... but I didn't see him around. As I took orders and poured, I kept eye out for someone new. I could tell Tommy knew what I was doing, cause I kept catching the look of disapproval on his face. Look, if he didn't like it, he could be a man and tell me. The whole 'no questions' thing had a line. So far neither of us had crossed it. Maybe I was trying to make him say something to me. Or maybe I just wanted to fuck around. I'd told him about Gail, of course. He did all the right things, said all the right words, and I do love him for it. But I can't help the fact that something seems missing.
Someone. One of the few people on earth who could understand things about me that I didn't even realize myself, until it was pointed out. I told myself I wouldn't contact him unless and until he contacted me first... not after the wedding. But he hasn't, so I haven't. I'm talking about Drake Hemingway, if you haven't guessed. I knew his stance about fucking around with a married woman, and I got married anyway. He'd agreed to remain friends but I guess I should have known it would be like this. Since the day I met him years ago in Emerge, I was always his weakness. Maybe he didn't trust himself to uphold his word. Whatever the reason for his radio silence, I hated it. It was another one of those things I had no control over.
I went behind the bar and slammed back another shot of tequila, probably my fourth so far. I shouldn't be thinking about this. I have a husband, several regular customers (as I like to call my side fucks), my career was slowly getting back on track with this tournament for the now-vacant World Championship coming up, that I was entered into. Yet on a Friday night in a packed bar when I should be having a blast, all I can think about is finding a way to not think as fast as I possibly could. For me, that meant getting shitfaced, getting railed, or a combination of the two. As I set my shot glass down, I saw a tall, dark, and blazing hot man walk into the club. He'd never been here before, I would have remembered that face. That body. Short brown hair, kinda messy but in a hot, windblown way rather than an unbrushed way. He was wearing a tight plain black shirt over slightly worn black jeans, with combat boots. I was pretty sure I was openly staring, but I didn't care who noticed. I had to talk to that man.
It wasn't hard. The hot guy looked around the bar a few seconds as he took a few steps in, then headed straight to the bar. Straight towards me. He walked up and smiled, somehow making him even sexier. I leaned over on the bar.
“Hey doll, what can I get for you?” Me, Neat?
“Crown double, neat. Please.” Hey, I was close.
“You got it.” I turned to pour the whiskey, and added a little splash extra just cause he was hot. I go back and slide him the glass. “Ten bucks.” He produced his wallet and pulled out a bill, sliding it over to me. I grabbed it and found a twenty. I turned to get change, but he stopped me.
“Nah, keep it. For my second drink later.” He sipped the drink I just gave him, then licked his lips. “Ah, that's good shit.”
“It's just Crown.”
“And its popular for a reason. Not a fan?”
“I prefer tequila.”
“Mixed or shots?”
“Yes.” I smirked. He laughed.
“Alright, I respect that.”
I saw another guy a few feet down the bar trying to get my attention. “Excuse me, doll, I'm being summoned.” Hot Stuff just nodded and I walked away to serve the other guy. He was a regular, and I already knew what he wanted. I gave him his beer and turned back to where I was, fully expecting Hot Stuff to be gone. But he was still there. Watching me, as if waiting. He saw me looking for him, and grinned. I walked back over. “Need that second already?”
He holds his glass up, showing me it's still half-full. “Not quite. Just waiting on you.”
“If you don't need another drink, what are you waiting on me for?”
“What, a guy can't want to talk to a hot woman?”
I brushed my hair back off my shoulder, showing off. “Well, when you put it that way.... what's your name, doll?”
“Cole.”
“Pleasure to serve you, Cole.” I smirked, hoping all the innuendo that sentence was packing made it's point. His return smirk told me it did. “I'm-”
“I know who you are, Kandis. I actually came here specifically to meet you.”
Oh, this was gonna be too easy. I leaned over on the bar, pushing my tits up and almost out of my low-cut top. “Is that right?”
Cole leaned on the bar too, closer to me, speaking near my ear, as if anyone else could have overheard anyway. “I hear you have a knack for serving certain customers a little something extra.”
I backed up enough to look him in the eyes. He was smirking at me. “You heard, huh? Word seems to get around.”
“Seems so do you.” I shrugged. That's been common knowledge for years. “What does a guy have to do to get that extra service?”
I leaned over again, my face almost close enough to his to touch noses. “Buy a lot of drinks... and ask nicely.”
Cole stepped back from the bar, and gulped down the rest of his drink. He put the glass down with a thud. “I'll have that second now.”
“Coming right up.”
“Yeah, it is.” Cole smirked.
I turned around to get his second drink, thinking that this was almost too easy. If I hadn't had a handful of shots since I got here to work, I might have been a little more suspicious. But tequila does things to my already loose-judgment, so I didn't see any of the red flags.
I set Cole's glass down, and he grabs it quickly while I'm still holding the glass, his hand over mine.
“How many more of these do I have to buy before I can ask nicely?”
“Oh, at least two.” I'd drag him to the back room right now if he wanted, but if I could get more money out of him for the club first, why not? Cole let me and the glass go, pulled out his wallet, and peeled off two more twentys.
“How about I just pay you for four, and say... would you do me the pleasure of coming back to my hotel with me, to not sleep?”
I took the money from him, folding the bills slowly, with a grin on my face. “A man who knows what he wants, that's hot.” I tucked the money into my cleavage. “But... you're gonna have to wait about an hour until the next bartender comes in. Think you can hold out?”
“I'll try my best.” Cole smirked, and sipped his fresh drink. I gave him a wink and walked away, towards the bar station at the other end, where the cash drawer was, and where Tommy was working.
I put Cole's money in the till, and turned to see Tommy leaning against the bar, arms folded, looking at me. “Got another one, huh?”
“Watching me, were you?”
“Just happened to look in that direction. So, are you leaving as soon as Riley gets here?” I could hear the annoyance in his voice.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“I want you to do what you want.”
“What I want... is for you to answer the question.”
That drew an annoyed sigh. “I want... you know what? No. I don't want you to stay. I want you to leave if you want, have fun, be safe... and come home in the morning. And then, then... we can have the conversation that really doesn't need to happen right now and right here.”
I stepped back, hitting the shelf behind me. “Well I'm not gonna go if you're mad.” Why couldn't he just say it?! Tommy stepped closer to me and put both hands on my face, gently.
“I'm not mad. I just... we'll talk tomorrow, okay?” I nodded, his hands still holding my face. “Enjoy yourself. I mean it. I love you.” Before I could say anything back, he kissed me. Slow and deep. The kind that usually comes before him pulling me by the hand to his office in the back. Instead, he pulled away, and grins. “Keep that in mind, though.”
“How could I forget? I love you.”
Tommy smiled, nodded, then walked off. I watched him as he went all the way down behind the bar, then down the hallway where the office is. I wasn't sure what was going on in his head, but I knew this was one of those things that if I followed and pushed, he'd just get upset and refuse to talk about it until tomorrow anyway. So I might as well go out. Right?
I looked back towards where Cole had been standing at the bar. He was still there, with his glass empty. I owed him four more drinks, but I didn't plan on serving him that many. I checked the time... Riley was due to here soon. I poured another drink for Cole and brought it to him. He looked up from his phone and grinned.
“I see you tore yourself away from the old man long enough to refill me.”
“Something like that.”
“You leaving with me isn't gonna be a problem, is it? With him, I mean.”
“Not at all. If you know who I am, then you know we have an arrangement.”
“Heard about it. Wasn't sure if it was true.” He smirked.
“So you came in here and propositioned me without knowing if it was gonna work, or get your ass kicked?”
Cole shrugged. “I'm a big believer in high risk, high reward.”
I laughed. “I gotta respect that. Think you can hang tight a few more minutes? I can't sneak out early since Tommy went to his office.” I glanced at the bar, and Jada moving quickly between customers. I should be helping her.
“I'll manage. Besides, I kinda like watching you work.”
I just smirked as I walked off, heading towards Jada to take some of the pressure off of her.
Fifteen minutes later, I saw Riley weaving through the crowd towards the bar. He slid in and came up to me.
“Hey, y'all look slammed.”
“Yeah, you kinda are. I'm out.” I took the bar towel I had tucked into the back pocket of my jeans and draped it over his shoulder. “But you can handle it.”
“Wait.. are you leaving? Where's Tommy?”
“Yes. And he's in his office. He should be right out soon.” I had no idea if that was true. I just assumed he walked off because he didn't want to watch me leave, and he'd reappear a few minutes after the time Riley was scheduled to start.
“Oh, okay. Well... um, have fun?” Riley had only been working here for about two months, but quickly caught on to not only the job, but also the way things were between the rest of us.
“Oh, I plan to.” I gave him a wink. Riley shook his head before going further behind the bar.
After washing my hands, grabbed my wallet, sliding my hand through the wrist strap. My keys were clipped to it. I walked out from behind the bar, and up to where Cole was now sitting on a stool, phone in hand. I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned, and smiled when he saw me.
“Ready, I take it?”
“I am. But... before we go, there's a few ground rules.”
“I'm all ears.”
“First... I'm going to text Tommy and my sister the name and address of the hotel.” Cole nodded, he seemed to understand the reasoning for that. “Second... I'm driving my own car, I'll follow you.” Another nod. “And finally... if I think for a half second that anything is off or creepy or something, I will not hesitate to kick your ass, leave, then call the cops. Understood?”
“Perfectly. And here I thought the rules were gonna have something to do with your man.”
“Oh, there is one. If my phone rings and it's him calling, it doesn't matter if I'm on top of you mid-come... I'm stopping and answering it.”
Cole laughed. “Understandable.” He stood up and offered me his arm “Ready, then?”
I grabbed his arm and grinned up at him – he was a few inches taller than me. “Okay. Ready.”
He just smiled at me, and led me towards the door.
Twenty minutes later, I parked my SUV next to his truck, and quickly typed the name and address of the hotel into a text to Tommy, then copy and pasted it into one to Coral. I hadn't been kidding. I might be fucking around more than your average woman but I'm not stupid. At least two people were gonna know where I went, just in case I didn't come back. Tommy replied, “Thx. Enjoy.” Coral sent me a thumbs up.
I followed Cole into the hotel. He led me to his room on the fourth floor. Once inside, I realized it wasn't a cheap room. There was a king size bed, a dorm size fridge rather than a mini-fridge, microwave, toaster oven, and full size coffee pot, along with the usual table, two chairs, and dresser. I saw Cole's luggage on the floor next to the dresser. I sat on the end of the bed as he walked around getting settled.
“So, what brought you out here anyway? You're obviously not from close by if you rented a room.”
“You don't think I just did this in anticipation of you saying yes?”
“Not with all that.” I nodded towards his suitcase. It was open and there was at least three days worth of clothes inside, along with at least one other pair of shoes.
“Okay, you got me. I'm here from Las Vegas for a job. I heard rumors about you and had to find out.”
“So you came to the club, and found out they're true.” I smirked, and he did the same.
“Speaking of the club, I didn't get all of the drinks I paid for.”
“I'm sure you'll get your money's worth, one way or another.”
“I plan on it.”
Cole leaned down and grabbed my face, not nearly as gently as Tommy had done earlier, and kissed me. Hard. Okay, so Cole liked it rough, too. I could roll with that. He pushed me back, then slid his hands under my legs behind my knees, pushing me all the way up onto the bed. I had already kicked my heels off, so Cole started by unzipping and peeling my tight jeans off. He smiled wide when he discovered that I was not wearing any underwear.
“Dressed prepared, huh?”
“A girl never knows when a quick fuck will present itself. Gotta be ready.”
“Oh, this will be anything but quick.” I just smiled. They all say that. Some are even right. Cole pulls his shirt off, and I do the same, bra and all. He starts to remove his jeans, then stops. “Oh, hang on a minute. I almost forgot. I have something to drink here. You said you like tequila, right?” I nodded. “It just so happens... that's what I brought.” Cole went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Cuervo. Not my favorite, but it would do. He grabbed some plastic cups, poured two, then handed me one, leaving the bottle up on the dresser. We both took our shots, he put both our cups aside for later, then finally.... took his jeans off. He hadn't worn underwear either, and he was very ready to play.
Cole got on the bed on his hands and knees and crawled to me, hovering over me.
“Tell me how you want it.”
“You invited me here, you get it how you want.”
Cole smirked, and reached down, grabbing my cunt hard. I was right. He liked rough.
That's how Cole wanted it, rough, not quick at all, all night... just like I expected. Rough in a good way. Very good. With the combination of liquor, lots of sex, and general spite at the world, I never noticed that the tequila bottle was actually plastic, and had only been half filled. The bottom held something else entirely.