Breakdown 9-7-23 #1
July 23
Toronto, ON
Rogers Centre
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I don't remember walking from the ring to the back. I barely remember anything that happened after I heard the bell ring. All I do remember, is that I knew what the bell meant. I was on top of Selena, and she stayed down. The bell ringing could only mean one thing.
I won.
I won!
I WON!!
I know my music played. I know the crowd lost their collective shit. But everything from the moment I was handed the belt until I got through the curtain is a blur. It was then, as I stepped through and the sound of the remaining crowd in the stands murmuring as they left their seats faded, that I looked down and saw the belt in my hands. The leather and gold was tangible proof that I had really done it. I took a few steps away from the curtain, staring at it. I looked up, and saw Tommy leaning against a corner, where the hallway to the locker rooms branched off from the production area. He was waiting for me, just smiling. I couldn't take it, or another step. Everything hit me at once – the weight of what I'd just done, the fact Tommy was there and watched me do it, even the crowd reaction just minutes before – it was too much. I sank to my knees and for the first time in my life I didn't give one fuck who saw me as I burst into tears.
I was aware of some crew member approaching from my left, but saw Tommy's boots stop in front of me.
“I got it, man, thanks.”
The other person backed away as Tommy knelt in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Hey there, champ... you alright?”
I looked up, smiling. “I've never been more alright in my life.”
He kissed my forehead, then prompted me to get up. We had been kneeling in the middle of the busiest area of backstage. I got to my feet, one arm hooked around Tommy's, the other cradling the belt. He led me towards the wall, and once we were out of the way, he pulled me into a hug. I wrapped one arm around him, not wanting to let go of the belt. He leaned his head on my shoulder, almost burying his face through my hair into my neck. A whisper filled my ear.
“You did it... you fucking did it.” He sounded just about as emotional as I felt.
“I fucking did, huh?”
Tommy backed away just enough to look me in the eyes. “I thought I was proud when I watched you win the Flame, but now? I didn't think it was possible to be this proud, or so much in love with you.”
“I don't even care if I lose it immediately. Or win it again a hundred more times... nothing will ever be as good as this.” We went in for a kiss at the same time, and a few seconds later, I pulled back. He hadn't said anything at all, but words just poured out of my mouth. “I mean it, babe. Ever since I got into this business, everyone doubted me, everyone talked me down. From Emerge right up til Breakdown last week. I wasn't a real wrestler, I was only here for the fame, I was just a whore, I didn't care about the business...” I had to pause and take a breath. I shook my head thinking about all the things that had been said about me over the years. “They said I'd never be taken seriously and now they can choke on those fucking words! David and Regan that bitch Peyton and fucking Selena! They all said I'd never be on this level! I defied them all. Every last doubter and hater. I wish I could see their faces now.”
“The only face I care about is the one I'm looking at.”
I found it in myself to smirk.“You have to say that, you're married to me.”
“Damn right I am. My wife is the World Champion.” He kissed me, then took a step back, speaking louder, almost a yell. “You hear that? My wife is the goddamn World Champion!”
To my surprise, some of the crew who were still around applauded, and I heard one 'whoopwhoop!' I shook my head, even though it made me smile.
“I don't get it... people all of a sudden love me?”
“Why wouldn't they? You're gorgeous, you're talented, and you just dethroned the most tiresome champion in recent memory.”
“Okay... but... I'm a bitch. I break rules. I-”
“They don't care. They know you deserve it. You earned it. Just roll with it, baby.”
I laughed. “I guess that's all I can do, huh?” Tommy nodded, grinning. “By the way.... that's a terrible song.”
“What? Steve Winwood is a legend! The horns!”
“Okay.... maybe it's not that bad.”
We both laughed, and he hugged me again. I was content to just stand there all night, wrapped in the arms of the one person who supported me when no one else did.... but I could hear people moving around us, the sound of the crew tearing equipment down. I then felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Excuse me, Kandis?” I looked up ad saw one of the medical staff. The crew had finally learned to just call me by my name rather than try to Ms. me. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but we need to check that out.” He gestured to my forehead. Shit! I had completely forgotten that Selena busted me open on the ring post, then made it worse with the announce table. I didn't feel anything. I glanced at Tommy and saw a smudge of blood on his shirt. Oh. I reached up and felt my forehead, just over my eye. It was wet, and the touch stung. I winced.
“Yeah, okay.”
I was led to the medical area, and sat on a stool while the guy cleaned me up, and applied a few stitches. I didn't know how many and I didn't ask. An SCW photographer took a few pictures during all of this. I kept the belt in my lap the whole time. I bet that made a few great shots. When the medic was done, he offered me something for pain, but I declined. The more I felt every bump and that cut, the more it sunk in that all of this was real. The medic walked off, leaving me and Tommy in the small room.
“How bad does it look?”
“Badass, I think.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely .” He smiled, then looked around. “We should probably clear out, let them clean up.”
“Yeah... I should probably shower.”
“I should definitely help you.”
In my locker room, I could hear my phone going off as I got undressed. After Tommy and I were done – the first of many celebrations to come – I could still hear my phone dinging as I got dressed. I didn't bother to check it. Everyone could wait – yes, even Drake, who I knew was in the building and had to be at least one of those texts, but probably a few more. All I wanted to do was get back to me and Tommy's room, grab the bottle of tequila we had put in the freezer to chill, and savor every minute of the rest of the night. Tommy deserved my full attention, he was my husband. The man who first made me think I could actually do this, I could really get this far, that I had it in me to dare to put myself out there and challenge everything everyone ever said or assumed about me. For years, all of them ran their mouths and fucked around... never imagining a world where I would be on their level. Rise to Greatness Twenty, they all found out exactly what I've been capable of all this time.
World. Fucking. Champion.
Believe that, bitch.
July 26
Santa Barbara
Valentine Home
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Everything in my life had changed the night I became the SCW World Champion. Several things happened. One, I was suddenly accepted as legitimate. Two, I was suddenly a crowd favorite and had actual fans waiting at the airport, not just men trying to shoot their shot. Third, Ante Up - both locations- suddenly had a dozen or so new signups - each - within the few days following Rise to Greatness. Nate wanted to throw me a party. Tommy's kids wanted to hold the belt and take pictures with it. Drake came to town to his condo and wanted me over for a night. I couldn't say no to that. The only thing that would have made everything perfect, was if my mother had still been here to see it. I enjoyed everything, don't get me wrong – the congratulations, the phone calls and flowers and hugs and everything else. But every now and then I would think to call her, or go over and show her the belt... then I'd remember I couldn't do that. I think Coral was the only person who really understood.
A few days after Rise was over, things were starting to settle down a little bit. I'd gotten home in the morning from spending the night with Drake, and Tommy was already awake. He had coffee made and I could smell cinnamon rolls going in the oven.
“Damn baby, it's like you knew when I was coming in.”
“What? Nah, all those are for me.” He smirked. “I just know your usual time.”
“You better save me at least one!”
“Two.”
I laughed as I made myself a cup of coffee, then sat across from Tommy at the island.
“So, I want to run something by you.”
“Hit me.”
“Well, it's been a while since either of us paid a visit to the New York gym. SCW is off for a while, maybe it's a good time to go.”
I raised an eyebrow; the one with what I now knew to be four stitches over it. It was still a little sore.
“Did you get a call from that nosy bitch who works for D? Wait... is that even still in play, or did that get sold to this investment group, too?”
Tommy stopped mid-sip over his coffee cup and gave me a blank stare. Years ago after David Helms' temper tantrum, he'd sold his half of the business holdings he and Tommy had together, and Mr. D had bought it. Mainly to keep Ante Up in business. Over the last few years, Tommy had slowly bought back some of the other holdings, but Ante Up had remained fifty-fifty.
“I... actually have no idea. No one has contacted me about anything. I'll give my lawyer a call today.” I nodded. I shocked myself by hoping it was still owned by Mr. D and not a nameless, faceless group of suits. “To answer your question though, no, I wasn't called by anyone asking me to go there, I just thought we should check in, in person. Have a look at the equipment, maybe hold a few seminars. What do you think?”
I remembered going there over a year ago, after a sudden loss of manager reminded Tommy that he owned the place, and he asked me to be in charge of hiring a new manager. My favorite part of the job though had been removing all traces of the gym's previous ownership, the Cruze name. Okay... second favorite part. My actual favorite part was 'breaking in' the new manager Micah, just a few days after he officially started the job. I grinned. I hoped he was still the manager there, he had been fun.
“I think you're brilliant. The place could use a check in like you said, and imagine all the signups there will be for a seminar hosted by an SCW Hall of Famer, and a current World Champion?”
“My thinking exactly. Could be good revenue for the place.”
“When do you want to go?”
“Was thinking next week-ish? Or maybe after your stitches come out.”
I gently rubbed the spot. “I'm sure the doctor would agree with you, but I don't care. I can just take it easy. Next week would be good.”
“Next week it is, then. I'll contact the manager and sort things out.”
Suddenly, something came to mind that I had been putting off worrying about, but if we were traveling anyway...
“After we're done there, can we make a detour on the way home?”
“Where to?”
“Indiana.”
Tommy gave me a puzzled look. “Indi...ana?”
“Yeah. Lafayette, to be exact. Where the bank safe deposit box my mom left behind is.” Tommy started nodding halfway through my explanation.
“Right, of course. For some reason I was thinking that was in Florida.”
“No, that's where Uncle Corey and Sydney live now. They're all originally from Indiana.”
“Yeah, rings a bell now. Of course we can do that. Are you sure you're ready to face whatever is in the box?”
“Not really. But I'd rather get it over with than have it hanging over my head.” I had hesitated in getting the bank transfer of the funds, too, because the amount of money made me nervous. But the lawyers prodded me into doing it quickly, to get the account closed out. The deposit box, though? Could sit there til the end of time. I was the only person with legal access. I didn't want to keep putting it off, no matter how anxious I was about what could possibly be inside. More money? More secrets? Just random pictures and keepsakes Mom didn't want to lose when she came to California? There was only one way to find out.
“Don't blame you there, if it were me, I'd be dying of curiosity.”
“You're dying to know now, don't front.” I smirked.
“Guilty as charged. But I'd never push you into going if you weren't ready. I'm glad you are, though.”
“As ready as I'm ever gonna be.”
The rolls were done, and we had breakfast and continued making plans, both for the Ante Up trip and my stop in Indiana. Then we both started to make phone calls. Tommy to his lawyer, and the NYC gym to plan. Me, to the bank in Lafayette, and a hotel there to book a room for a few days.
During SCW's yearly post-Rise to Greatness break, a lot of the roster take vacations, or stay home but do absolutely nothing, taking the word 'break' to heart. In previous years, Tommy and I had done the same to a degree – Ante Up never had a hiatus unlike some other wrestling academy's out there. (Looking at you, Chastaine!) But this year, we had plans for the entire time off, and none of it was purely recreational. Sure, going to New York was a trip that a lot of people would call a vacation, but we were working. Tommy had planned out our days while there. Three seminars, on top of inspecting equipment and the books and talking with the employees to see if they had any concerns.
Going to Indiana wasn't exactly vacation, either. I had no idea what I would find in that deposit box. Tommy kept assuring me that it was probably some old keepsakes, maybe jewelry at the most. I tried to believe him, and realistically he was probably right. But I couldn't shake the feeling that whatever I'd find in that box... would be far more substantial and meaningful than pictures or a few diamonds on a chain.
The thought made me both excited and scared.