Breakdown 6-19-25
{{ April 2022 }}
Being stripped of a championship and fired hadn’t been in Spencer’s plans when he finally told the world the truth about his father, Simon Lyman. Simon of course denied any knowledge of a baby by his old girlfriend Anna. Amy seemed like she wanted to believe Simon over him, which Spencer took as an insult because it meant she was calling his mother a liar. Spencer did not take kindly to anyone disrespecting his mother.
Minutes after being fired, over yet another altercation with Simon backstage, Spencer stormed out of the arena, Amy following close. He managed to outpace her though and got to his rental car before she got to hers, and beat her to the hotel. By the time Amy had caught up, Spencer had checked out and left. There was no way he could go back to New Orleans after this. Not with Simon working at BOA and the way he knew his firing would be all over the news. Instead, he flew home. To Beaumont.
Spencer was settled in and laying on his brother’s couch when it occurred to him what he’d actually done. Not just left BlackOut, not just removed himself from the possibility of coming face to face with Simon again; or Amy for that matter. He’d left something, someone behind as well.
Marie Caedes.
The daughter of wrestling legend Lynn Brewster, who was well-known to Amy. To say he and Marie had become close through training and Marie’s short run in would be an understatement. Spencer had all but given up his skirt-chasing ways because of her. For her. The same night he’d revealed the truth about Simon to the world, he and Marie had taken their involvement to the next level. She’d gone to his hotel room and they’d slept together – a first for Marie. Although they’d never spoken about it or said words to the effect to each other, after that night they both seemed to consider themselves a couple.
That had been roughly six weeks ago. And Spencer had just skipped town and gone back to Beaumont without going to New Orleans first to say anything to her, grab any of his stuff from his apartment, nothing. It’s the one thing he felt like a douchebag over. So, the day after getting settled into Caleb’s place, Spencer sat back and made himself call Marie.
“Hey…”
“Hey Ree. Listen…. I…” For a rare moment, Spencer couldn’t find words.
“Yes? Are you okay? I thought you’d be back by now.”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m okay. I’m at Caleb’s.”
“In Beaumont?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh… when are you coming back? I’ve been worried since you were… since-"
“You can say it. I got fired. And…” Spencer sighed. “That’s why I’m calling. I don’t think I’m coming back.” He hears her inhale sharply
“What do you mean? Like to the city, or…?”
“What I mean is… New Orleans isn’t big enough for both me and Simon. I can’t be where he is. Not right now. Maybe not ever.”
Silence. Then… “I see.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What…. What about me? What about us?”
“Is there an us? We never really had that discussion.”
“I thought there was. Was I wrong?”
“No… no, I thought so too. I just…. Fuck, I should be doing this face to face…” There went that douchebag feeling.
“What do you mean?”
A deep heavy breath came from the bottom of Spencer’s lungs. He hated himself for this, but he didn’t see any other option.
“I care for you, Marie, you know I do. But—”
“I know you do, I care about you too. That’s why I—"
“But everything has just gone to shit and I’m so throwed I don’t know which way is up. A few days ago I was a champion in SCW and today I’m a lump on Caleb’s couch. I’m just not in a good headspace.”
“It’s a huge setback, I know. But I can help you through it, if you let me.”
“That’s just it. I can’t let you do that. You shouldn’t have to. You… I don’t think you have any clue how special you are. Smart, and caring, and accepting… and you deserve so much better than what I can offer you. Or anyone.”
“Spencer….”
“I know you put a lot into this, and I did, too. Maybe even more than I thought. And I can’t say enough how sorry I am. I just don’t want to drag you down. I can’t do that to you.”
More silence. “Marie?”
“I’m here. I’m just…. I don’t know what to say. I can’t really argue with you, you know what’s best for you. I just… you know?” And then he heard it. The sniffle she tried to hide.
“Yeah. I know. I’m—”
“Sorry, I know. I heard you. I’m sorry, too.”
A soft click told Spencer she’d ended the call. He tossed his phone off to the side, where it bounced off the couch and hit the carpeted floor.
“Fuck. Fuck.”
Leaving the phone where it landed, Spencer got up and grabbed his duffel bag near the door. He remembered the way to the nearest gym.
{{ May 2022 }}
A couple of weeks after the phone conversation with Marie and now in his own efficiency apartment, Spencer got a different phone call that he almost didn’t take.
Simon.
Against his better judgment, and maybe out of morbid curiosity over what gave the man the audacity to try to talk to him, Spencer answered.
“This better be good.”
“Oh, hello. You picked up. I expected to leave a voicemail….”
“Well you got me live. Now what do you want?”
“Uh, well…" Simon cleared his throat. “It’s been several weeks since… things went down, and I was hoping that maybe, we could speak calmly.”
“Why? All you’re gonna do is tell me the same lies.”
“That’s just it. I want to try in earnest to convince you I am not lying.”
“You might be more hardheaded then even I am, and that’s saying something.”
“Guess we know where you got it from, yes?”
All Spencer could do at that was scoff to cover the laugh. Old man had a point.
“You don’t have to talk, okay? Can you just listen?”
Spencer sat down and sighed. Maybe it was because he knew Simon wouldn’t stop until Spencer heard him out, or maybe because he couldn’t see his face while listening… but Spencer caved.
“Fine. Say what you gotta say.”
“Thank you. Firstly, it is not and never has been my intention to call your mother a liar. I can’t speak to what she told you about anything. I can only speak to what I know from my experience. And my experience is that Anna absolutely did not ever say one word to me about even the possibility of being pregnant. We were young, and to use the term “in love” might be a stretch, but I did care for her deeply and if I had known, I would not have left. I know you seem to have an issue with how people view me, a saint, white knight, whatever other terms the kids have for their heroes. Honestly, I quite agree with you, I don’t think I am worth of those praises, but one thing I am and will always be is honorable. The very idea of walking away from a woman pregnant with my child is reprehensible. If people would know and believe one thing about me, I would want it to be that – I could never do that. Not to Anna, not to anyone.”
After a few seconds, “Are you done?”
“Yes, I’m done. That’s all I’ve been trying to say to you all this time. If I knew you existed, I would have been there.”
His words sounded so sincere, and despite all of the bickering and misunderstandings at BOA, Spencer had never known the man to tell any lies. But…
“Okay. Let’s say for the sake of argument I believe you. Why do you think Mom would have lied to me my whole life about you, huh?”
“I don’t have the slightest idea.”
“Guess.”
Simon sighed. “Okay. Well… if I had to guess, knowing her as I did…. I’d say, she must have found out some time after I’d already moved and she didn’t have a way to contact me.”
“Okay, I know the nineties was a long time ago now, but I know cell phones existed.”
“They did. But I didn’t have one. Neither did she, neither of us could afford one. Besides, you asked me to guess.”
“I did, that’s fair. Look, you sound like you’re sincere. But… it’s hard to forget what Mom told me for my whole life until she died. She was the best, most honest person I’ve ever known.”
“I’m not asking you to forget all of that and think badly of your mother. I’m just asking you to consider the possibility… that she said what she said to you because for some reason she thought it was best for you.”
“If I say no to that, I’ll sound like an unreasonable asshole.”
“I wouldn’t call you an asshole. You’re being asked to accept a lot.”
“If you’re being real with me, then you’re being asked to accept a hell of a lot more. You got a surprise grown-ass kid.”
“Who seems to want nothing to do with me. I’ve never doubted that you are who you say you are. I fully believe that you are my son. That being the case, I would really like the chance to get to know you as that, instead of just a student.”
That was one thing that had given Spencer pause about all of this, not once did Simon deny being his father, or demand some kind of proof. All he’d done is claim he never knew. Spencer had grown up believing that his father had wanted nothing to do with him, and Simon had acted the exact opposite.
“I guess it would be okay to keep in touch.”
“I’m very glad to hear that.”
“Yeah... Look, good talk, but I gotta get going.” No idea where to, just not on this phone call.
“Of course, I didn’t mean to keep you from your activities. Thank you for hearing me out.”
“Yeah. I’ll be in touch.”
“I look forward to it.”
Spencer ended the call, then stared at his phone. Maybe he didn’t have to stay away from New Orleans, after all. Maybe… he had made a mistake with Marie.
{{ June 2022 }}
“Are you sure we went through every letter in here bro?”
Caleb tapped the box of old letters that Spencer had found in his mom’s house after she died. It contained all the letters from “B,” which of course stood for Braeden, Simon’s actual first name.
“Pretty damn sure. Unless something was stuck to something else, or…. I don’t know.”
“Maybe in another box? Wasn’t there more than one?”
“Three, but we put all the letters in here, and the pictures and shit separate. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t miss something. This was a good idea of yours.”
Sitting at Spencer’s table, he and Caleb had cleared everything else off – other than their beers – to make room to go through every envelope and every piece of paper, one more time. Spencer picked the box up, flipped open the lid, and dumped the contents out onto the table, turning the box upside down to do so. As he does so, Spencer was surprised as what he thought was the bottom of the box fell out, with a composition-style notebook on top.
“Whoa!” Caleb stared at the notebook.
“What the fuuuuuck….” Spencer set the box down and slowly picked up the notebook. Nothing was written on the cover, so he opened it and flipped through the pages. Half the pages were filled, in Mom’s handwriting.
“Holy shit dude.” Spencer looked up at Caleb. “Its Mom’s journal.”
“We did miss something, because she had it so well hidden. I wonder why….”
“One way to find out.”
Spencer sat back in the chair, opened the notebook to the first page, and began to read. The dates on the pages had many gaps, it seemed like Anna didn’t use this journal very often. There was an entry when she met Simon, another one after the first time they spent the night together, one about going to school, a particularly hard day at her job. Spencer had speed-read these entries, but the first line of the next page made him pause.
“I’m pregnant. Now what???”
“Cal… this is it.” Spencer flipped the book around to show him.
“What are you showing me for? Keep reading!”
Spencer just nodded, then read the rest.
“B has already accepted the offer he got from that wrestling school. He’s got his move planned out and we’ve planned our last date before he leaves. I was so upset when he told me he thought it was best we move on because long distance just doesn’t work, but after I thought about it I realized he was right. We’re both too young to be tied down by that and he’s going to follow his dream.
Just writing those few sentences, I know two things. One, I can’t get rid of the baby. I just don’t believe in that, it’s a part of us both. But two…. I can’t tell him. I have to let him go. Let him leave. If I tell him, he’ll back out. He won’t go train, he’d never leave me alone with a child. I can’t be responsible for him giving up on his dream. I can’t tell him. And I won’t. Not ever.”
Spencer laid the notebook down, numb from what he’d just read.
Anna never told Simon she was pregnant. Simon had told the truth. And Mom had lied.